Twisted

[Nadja]

I do the grounding excercise and I have recognized,that it is easyer for me to do it beginning from the heart Crystal of mother earth up to my Body and afterwards from the sun down. Somehow the other way round then mystress teaches it. Somehow it fits into the pattern of my life, because I always do things the other way round as  people do things usually- it feels like my doing and thinking is twisted and as everything in my life is the other way round. My question now is at first if there is any consequence if I do the grounding exercise the other way beginning from mother earth up to the sun. And the second question I have is if anyone has an idea about the twisted thing in my life and if it would be important to end the twisted issue in my life.
Thank you and all the best
Nadja

[Mystress]

  The solar energy gift sparks the heart crystal return. How to get the return if not feeding, yes you can pull the energy up without making an offering but it is not the same.  If doing the solar energy second, where does it go? Do you keep it? That is chi based magic.

  Ask yourself, where else do you pull instead of giving?

[Nadja]

Dear Mystress,

thank you for your reply. I think I understand what you mean and it fits into my life pattern and the Feeling I have in my life. But when I do it from the sun down, then I still have problems to visualize and feel the connection to the heart Crystal of mother earth. It feels like I can´t establish the channel down without using lot of energy. Is it because I do not want to GIVE? Because I do not feel like I don´t give but maybe I Play some tricks on myself and try to cheat? (That is a serious question, because it is also a huge theme within my Family - cheating.

Best wishes
Nadja

[Mystress]

  Cheating is about control.

  Often people who are afraid of being taken over by the kundalini energy, create a blockage or filter to try to control how much of that energy they let in. Often driven by fear of insanity.  Problems with kundalini generally come of resisting the energy so the effort is really self destructive, being an embedded sort of resistance. 

  Typical blockage is below the feet, shaped like an upside down umbrella or like the bottom of your grounding bubble has a lead coating. You can surrender it even if you cannot see it.

[Nadja]

Dear Mystress,
thank you for your reply. I had to read it a lot of times, to understand the meaning. Somehow it felt like I read the words but they do not want to get into my Body. Now I think I understand, but I do not surrender the things under my feet. I always feel the Blockade as a cut between my upper and lower Body in the middle of my pelvis. Like being divided into two parts. I really thank you for this course because I learn such a lot about my real blockades without building new constructions of some false spirituality. Blessings Nadja