Hi.

[Sean R]

Hi.

I had a Serpent Fire Tummo initiation with Mari in May of last year. I joined Fire Serpent Tantra to learn more and to read the post in the Tea room. When I joined I knew I wasn't ready for kundalini awakening (I'm married with a 3 1/2 year old daughter), that I wouldn't have time to do the grounding and to have an awakening. I wanted to have the Serpent Fire Tummo initiation because it looked safe and I was hoping it could heal some of my emotional issues and adrenal fatigue. After the initiation I wasn't noticing anything from it, I sent Mari a pm to ask her about it and she suggested for me to start with the lessons, that they go hand it hand. I started reading the lessons, taking my time, sometimes just reading the written part first then watching the video on another day. I was hoping it would clear some blockages for the Tummo to start, and that I could stop reading the lessons at any time if I wasn't feeling comfortable. My grandpa passed away in the Philippines last year in July and I went there for 2 months with my wife and daughter. When I got back I started reading the lessons again a little at a time. I would never read more than 1 lesson a week and sometimes 1 every 2 weeks or more. Sometimes after a lesson I could feel the tummo or shaktipat a little bit but it would be gone by the next day. I read half a lesson over a week ago. Last night after I posted about should I pay on paypal for a reinitiation I went to sleep  and woke up in a slight fear like state. I got up thinking maybe it was the kundalini awakening, I was having a rapid heartbeat and was having these fear like thoughts. I went into the living room to get online for awhile then I tried to go back to sleep but couldn't so I just laid there. I took some herbal tincture to help me fall asleep and I finally did but I only slept for 4 hours. I ran some errands today and I tried to take a nap just now but I couldn't fall asleep so I decided to post here to put my thoughts down and maybe someone can offer some suggestions.
I hope this feeling will go away, I definitely am not ready for a kundalini awakening now. I wont read the lessons anymore after this but I will still read the post here. Any help is appreciated, thank you.
Sean

[Sean R]

I was able to fall asleep last night for 3 1/2 hours or so. I read Mari's post on pacing and knew that my situation wasn't as bad as her's when she had her awakening, so I was able to relax and fall asleep. I thought it was getting better but when I woke up I couldn't fall back asleep again and I have the uncomfortable feeling again. I kept checking the tea room hoping someone would reply to my post. I'm gonna run some errands now to keep busy since I can't sleep anyway.

[Sigmund]

Hey, Sean.  I've had experiences similar to yours that have affected my sleep.  I've taken to viewing them as another wave to ride and not worrying about them.  That alone has been helpful. 

As far as the feelings, surrender comes readily to mind since that's worked for me, as a rule, and is a good thing to do in any case.  I trust that others on the site may have more to say about how to deal with that.

All the best to you, in manageable chunks.

[Sean R]

Thanks. I felt better today, I'll try to take a nap now.

[Duu]

Hi,
Well spiritual growth is broad term. It is about becoming more loving and more harmonious human being. Because when our love is limited and our wisdom is limited then our ability to benefit ourselves or others is also limited. In fact in my opinion all our action are on the base of our internal wisdom so we create the world as it is inside of us. And if the internal world is darkened, veiled. Filled with anger, greed, fear and so on. We be destined producing just that.

Some people find that unbearable and rush to get more wisdom and more love as soon as possible for benefit of all other beings. They do so unconsciously until they find a path to follow.
If that speeding up will take form of kundalini awakening or not is in the hands of the divine.

I think taking a tantric initiation for emotional issues and adrenal depletion is a bit overkill.
Unless of course the emotional issues did arise from deep deep desire within to evolve.
From dissatisfaction with ego and with the madness of the world it created.

Tummo is not a healing session. What it is, is a gentle and loving speeding up encounter. And it will heal the traumas and so on,so one can speed up ones evolution even way faster.
So tummo reinitiation in case you are not desiring faster evolution at the moment is not good. It is better to wait a bit. And in the mean time try to meditate on world suffering.. the madness the ego created...and find a courage within.. to say, yes I could go beyond ego, I can be the man who says it was enough and go against the stream. To heal himself and the world. And yes, speeded path can by sometimes more painfull. But consider the pain of children is slave labor factories or people living in slums without a glimmer of hope. Or pains of people suffering trough ego, of greed and fear, even while living in prosperous lands. Hell created by human hand, by ego. You are either against it and do evolve or you end up supporting it. You will be the cog in the machine.
And in case you don't make it trough. At least you tried. And your act was honorable one.

So what is to notice after tummo initiation? That it helps you to keep your speed up but only if you let the hand break to go down. There are no special feelings one should have after initiation.
It works on autopilot at the speed it is best. And that is all to it.
Im unsure what expectations you do have. Please tell.
So initiation is not a healing session, yes the initiation works powerfully for subtle balancing but it is not a solution to all things. As also tummo itself is not a solution for all things.

Nobody can take from you the responsibility for yourself, to keep balance in yourself and healing  yourself. Tummo is a special gift to help you. But it has some limits.
Also FST is not a healing course by itself. It is a Mystery school. Even if it has many balancing tools for self healing it is not its main purpose. So responsibility for healing and balancing remains on you. Studying Mystery school means you wish for a faster evolution and the faster you go the more important it is to care for your overall balance.
If you continue study here than focus on surrender and keep yourself balanced with all the common sense and methods and assistance that is available to you. Kundalini is very likely to arise during the study and it is as it should be. If it is so, then just be more alert as kundalini and resistance mixed together means problems. There is nothing scary about kundalini and the result is marvelous.


Love,
Duu

[Sean R]

Hi.
Thanks for the reply. I was able to sleep 6 hours last night so I feel better about that. Today went fine. Now that I think about it I was feeling something about 1 to 2 weeks ago when I was waking up in the morning like it may have been the kundalini but without any fear, just a feeling in my stomach area.

You covered a lot in your reply. I hope it can help someone in the future that isn't sure as to what they want or are expecting from FST or SFT.

I had distant reiki healing done with a reiki master on and off since 2010 but I wasn't getting the healing I thought I needed. When I found and read Mystress website I thought that maybe it was because of my own karma why I was having health problems and that if I had the SFT initiation done it could help deal with my karma and I would get better. I guess I was expecting something like in the testimonials section of the SFT page where some were feeling the birth of their divinity or felt that it cleared a lot of stuff and they felt good. Maybe I didn't give it enough time and it was going at the pace it should for me, everyone is different.

I was very frightened when I posted a few days ago. I have made a lot of changes since then, I been organizing all my stuff and getting things done that I need to and trying to not think about things that are not good for me.

Sean

[Sean R]

Wanted to write this in a different post in case it was something that shouldn't be talked about here so it can be deleted. I found Mystress web site by researching Reiki Tummo online, I bought the book and it had a lot of good testimonials in the beginning of the book and I thought it was something that could help me. When I read what Mystress wrote about people not needing the reiki symbols I decided that I didn't want to be attuned to Reiki Tummo and I wanted the SFT initiation.

[Duu]

Hi,
Im happy that you feel better.
SFT is not Reiki Tummo. And the difference is not only in the lack of symbols. But in the approach to it. An approach that is more honoring the surrendering side and the divine side of the energy.
So I never read the book about reiki tummo so I cant comment what expectations the book builds up. Mystress never wrote any book about it. My honest feeling is that reikis modern attempts to recast and package holy and lovely divine things into tools that you can buy for cheap is a mistake.
Without love, humility and respect the holy toenail of st. Mathilda will be only an old toenail.  And its ability to inspire awe, healing and bless hope for future will be gone. I laugh at idea for st. Mathilda toenail sometimes as superstition. And believe myself that as a working method we could be more practical about it. But if someone offers me st. Mathilda toenail reiki it aggravates me a bit. If you get my meaning. Its ability to work beyond ego will be largely lost.
Above all the chance of it working for your benefit is due to approach very low.
Turning that all into something very dangerous in many ways hidden and obvious.
So Im happy that SFT has nothing to do with reiki, except its low price.... that can be problem by itself.

But in every initiation its progress greatly depends on the capacity of the person to receive.
Yet everyone who comes will receive healing, karma clearing. So you surely received that.
And on base tummo is initiated and set on autopilot. Here SFT initiation ends.

If people are sensitive to energy even a little bit, they do feel the healing going on. But even if they do not feel, the healing is still getting done. To the level that is best for the person. Karma healing is done along central channel crucial for balanced life and also to rising of kundalini.
Naturally there is way more karma and problems but due to focus of the initiation the rest has to be left there unattended. With hope the person will attend to that in his or her own time.

Are you telling that you felt no warmth, no release, no good feelings during the initiation?
Are you over all sensitive to energy? Have you had similar initiations?
What was your overall impression of initiation as it went on?
Please tell me, Im interested to know more. As it is a chance to improve future tummo experiences.

If you wish to speak of it privately you can send it via private message. It is ok to discuss it here, unless there is some personal stuff that you wish not to put public.
Or we can arrange chat together realtime in second life.

love,
Duu

[Sean R]

I think I understand what you are saying here about reiki but I should send you a pm as I don't want to get too much off the subject of FST here in the Tea room.

I did feel warmth and release just after the initiation and the next day but not after that. I am sensitive to energy in that I tried wearing some energy pendants but I had to not use them because the energy was making me feel uncomfortable. I haven't had any other initiations, I've only had an Usui Reiki level 1 attunement.

Sean

[Duu]

Hi,
in summary, the answers above are for you. To help you gain more benefits from tummo. It is not only a talk about and global stuff. Perhaps I better rephrase the words.
My feeling is your initiation is done and complete. There is absolutely no sense whatsoever in seeking re-initiation and expecting different result. Without you changing attitude and growing a bit. Also maybe removing expectation from tummo reiki and the mindset of it. That is, in case you still feel that this tummo as presented makes sense to you.

As SFT initiation ends, the spiritual path continues. So to benefit more you would have to get on a spiritual path. But as you wrote that you are afraid of kundalini, not ready for it, no having time for  grounding and went to initiation only for healing etc. Tummo cant work against your will. And the framework in which it could work is perhaps not there at this time. So maybe you approached it without that base. So holy st. Mathilda toenail turned in your hands for this moment to an old toenail. That is how holly things can be. Never really predictable.
The speeding up process of initiation slows down as you by natural gravity return your space that is habitual for you. And how soon that will happen will depend of how little or much you do your daily spiritual practice and so on.

There are some people that take initiation for the blessing and healing only. And this is ok too. So you receive much and it is divine, even when not in its main purpose. But even if you seek the re-initiation for blessing and healing only and are not interested for more it is is still better to study more before it.

To explain to you a bit about karma as stuck emotions and etc. Yes it can be cause of illnesses.
But it is not best to see karma as isolated bits. As if external, that are of no consequence to who you are.
Karma is as well a probability vector you move on. A collection of many smaller interlocked vectors, only trough persistence and daily practice one dismantles that pull. That means also limiting oneself in generating new bad karma. And you would not expect tummo or any magic or any initiation to prohibit you from creating a bad karma if you wanted to do it. Right? So you see the limit right there.

So there is always a question if one daily removes more bad karma than what one is reinforcing, feeding and creating anew. That is really not so hard to understand.
So tummo comes here as an aid only, within a contexts of ones path, whatever that is.
All the techniques are within a path context, they have to be. As wisdom and skill is needed.
Without that we are left with superstition only. And acting unskillfuly can be called in the best light a gamble. And inability to differentiate between what is skillful and what is not. Cant be even called  gambling as there at least you know rules of play. So we chose to call it a normal way to be.
Some people try in hope and good intentions to act from this level, use tummo as an ego tool.
It can work.. but is it really wise?
People search for more power to solve their problems. While in reality they lack wisdom.

Love,
Duu

ps:Tearoom is for student support. So questions that are relevant to ones process and ones experiences are fine here.

[Sean R]

You explained a lot again, I understand what you mean.

I don't know if I'm getting shaktipat from reading your replies but I woke up tonight from the K or tummo. It's been mellow since I first posted but I could still feel it and it is making me tired in the daytime like chronic fatigue does. Last night was the first time it's woken me up out of my sleep since last week. I'm hoping it will quiet down more as I'm not reading the lessons anymore.

About re-initiation, I don't know if it's what I needed or I just needed someone to check that all was going well with the first initiation. Now I've learned I can handle minor symptoms like feeling heat or anything that doesn't feel uncomfortable but I don't want the uncomfortable feeling I had when I first posted. So now I just want to be back to normal. I was shy and embarrassed to post that I read past the lesson where Mystress says to not continue unless you have the grounding down. So it is my own fault for what happened to me. I should have posted early on in the tearoom that I was looking for healing only and gotten some feedback before I continued to read the lessons.

Sean

[Sean R]

I'm feeling the K stronger today, I wonder if it's because I drank a lot of fluids yesterday. I got real thirsty and drank a liter of carrot juice and a smoothie. Last week and the weekend the K was mellowing out but I'm feeling it stronger today. I read half a lesson over 2 weeks ago. I hope it will mellow out.

[Sean R]

Back when I posted I forgot to say I read up to lesson 20 or so. My K symptoms would come strong on Monday nights for some reason. After my last post my K symptoms got the worst the next Monday night. I remembered reading something online last year about chakra removal, I didn't read much into it then because it wasn't something I'd ever consider doing. I began to read into it more after I last posted, I listened to this interview where they were talking about people having kundalini symptoms and that after the people had their chakras and kundalini system removed their kundalini symptoms went away:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jw5laGKor8

I scheduled a session with them:
http://chakraremoval.com/
to have my chakras and kundalini system removed, after the session my K symptoms went away. I would not have wanted to have it done, I wanted to keep what I was born with but I needed help and I took a chance and it did help. Also I read people saying that chakras cannot be removed, I don't know what was done I don't have the ability to tell but I'm glad I don't have the K symptoms anymore and I can do things not having to feel the K symptoms. It could be the K symptoms went away on their own.

I'd be interested if anyone wants to discuss this, thanks.

[Duu]

Hi Sean,

Many posts engage me in my personal process.
With this post emotions have came up. I asked myself why? Because I myself would be very open to talk about relative existence or nonexistence chakras and Im easy with fresh positions on philosophy. Fully acknowledging the calcified, sometimes limiting and archaic nature of traditional guiding systems.

When I read the links I felt uneasy about the whole thing. The pages of the guy are  strongly energy charged and is possible that he can do energy healings. But at the same time the guy suffers from kundalini psychosis and feeds fear and dis-empowering philosophies.
That doesn't mean that one cant learn nonverbaly from this guy some pearls of wisdom as he is crazy but also awake. If one is able to pick out the pearls out.

So really I found out, that I fear myself getting crazy and into a sort of psychosis like that. It didn't help that I did see many lizard entities around that guy and him morphing to lizard alien. But not only that, even fear of them came up. And I thought oh my I better deal with that in myself.

I transmuted the fear and bits of aliens and felt very fed and blissful. Felt oh my life is good, such abundance of food. Then lizards started to be friendly and offered me business advice.
That creating business offers for balanced people to get wiser is a sucker business model.
Ideal offer is to allow people to stay in fear, greed and stupidity and pay for it. While having them feel good about themselves for doing so. By patting their ego ideas so carefully implanted in youth. Offering them to lessen the pain by mindless entertainment or booze or medical drugs knowing they will need shots of that regularly, as obviously that solution is not a solution, but a business model.
So Im quite thankful for their assistance to point me so precisely to my shadow. And for their advice on marketing.
I then thought of how ungrateful is the position of spiritual advisor. Not in the sense of gratitude. But in the sense that addicts fight to keep their addictions even when it kills them in the end. Shall I be so cruel creature that when a persons begs on his knees while shaking to buy a shot from me, that I would not sell to him for an affordable price or in small accessible installments?
Would then not my heart be colder then the reptile?

So Sean, you can be at peace Chakras are not 3d objects or totally objectively existing and thus can not be removed. As removing means firstly they exist, but that is a pure leap of faith. They are soul lenses and non dimensional maps. They are an grid of ideas for navigation based on real biological, genetic, neurological and psychological underlaying structure. So unless those change chakras have sense as specific aid to us.
Map is not the territory but neither is a good map separate from territory.
Saying thus: because map is not the territory lets toss out the map, is not helpful. As how you would help others to find a way? You have to have a map. To know it, is sufficient. It is ok if the map is challenged and adapts.

Im quite happy that the healing for you worked. Let us know in couple of weeks how it goes.

love,
Duu

[Sean R]

Hi Duu.
Thanks for the reply. I haven't came back to the forum for a few months, I just came back lately to check if there were any replys to my post.

I been fine. I'm trying another healing for the past 5 months or so. I'm not doing any other healing anymore, I stopped having distant reiki healing sessions with my reiki master for over 6 months now. The only healing I'm on now is this one:

http://www.soul-healer.com/issue-details/healing-sessions-absent-healing-requests-form/

Take care,
Sean

[Sean R]

Also, about what we were talking about about chakra removal, the guy says he got his ability from Sanat Kumara as he says here:

http://cleaningwings.wordpress.com/2013/09/05/public-disclosure-i-remove-chakras/

Do you know anything about Sanat Kumara? Do you think some entity / being is lying to him telling him he now has abilities that he doesn't?

[Mystress]

  Sean, what are you doing here?  Voyeurism?

   You say you are not ready for awakening, you have wimped on doing the grounding with the excuse, "lack of time" and you seem to be invested in paying any random healer you can find instead of actually working on yourself.

  You do not want awakening but you are complaining about kundalini symptoms. Obviously, you would not be getting symptoms unless you are already awakened eh? You are not making sense.

  Yes, kundalini is a difficult process, frequently uncomfortable,  and if you do not want it why did you join? Curiosity? We are not here to entertain you.

   I remotely checked on your tummo activation when you first posted- it was fine, there was nothing wrong with it.  Your complaints about it upset mari, she stopped doing tummos and later left the lineage.

  We make no claims of physical healing, it would be illegal for us to do so, although healing has been known as a side effect of activation your expectations are unreasonable and not backed by anything we have said.

  Ever think your adrenal fatigue might be because you spend so much time worrying about nothing?  If you could be bothered to get grounded then you would not worry. Instead you skip the primary exercise foundation of the whole process and want us to calm you? Whats with that?

Not doing the lessons, not wanting awakening, just wanting to read other people's posts... I am not ok with that. It is not true to the purpose or intent of FST.

  I think the idea of removing chakras permanently is a bit absurd, you had the lower chakras removed and *replaced* for the tummo.  Hypnotizing someone into believing they do not have chakras anymore, not difficult.

  Now you are hiring someone else who is doing what remotely? Letting her pet entities work on you? Why?

   Why post about it here?

  Asking for comments on other systems, here... why? I do not care about what others are doing and rarely comment on it, this forum is for FST students to write about their process with the FST course. 

  Duu gave you some excellent responses, does not look as if you considered his thoughts much.

   I advise you to seek out a conventional therapist and get treatment for anxiety.  Get that sorted through regular channels, the other stuff will work itself out.   

[Sean R]

Yes your right. Sorry. I hope no one makes the same mistake I did.

[Duu]

Hi Sean, that was a rather brief comment.
I would very much like to know what is new in your life and how do you view the whole situation from present time.

Love
Duu

[Sean R]

Hi Sean, that was a rather brief comment.
I would very much like to know what is new in your life and how do you view the whole situation from present time.

Love
Duu

Hi Duu.
Are you still in this group? I just came back to check because I received an update email from the group yesterday. I been fine, I don't think much about the situation anymore and have moved on. How about you?