TwinDragon, who I am.

[TwinDragon]

Hello everyone.

Again, I apologize for having put off something in my previous posts that made you think I tried to "place myself above anyone else".

I am not from this earth, just to mention.

I had a hard time with coming to terms with how things work down here, since I was a little child, I've had a knowledge of something very deeply magical.

This knowledge has made me conflicted with most people here. I never understood humans's weird ways of thinking, about existance and such. I got some earthly spirit guides that taught me well, so I could understand why everyone was so different from me amongst other things.

It still doesn't make earthly relations easy, because there are so many conflicts with my inner being and their views of the world, and sometimes it just makes me want to run away, and go back "home" but at least I try, to pretend I am a human that can fit in with other people.

The few of my friends who have gotten to "see" me behind the masks, are both people that understand and have a desire to protect me against humanity, while others want to take advantage of me, and see me as a golden oportunity to make things easier for themselves, by manipulating my power, and even attempting to "claim and own my soul".

Ever since a child I was someone with the ability to "grant wishes", but I was told I should not tell people about this, or go grant wishes to just random people.

Maybe I am an incarnated Jinn or a Death Goddess from another planet or galaxy, I don't know anymore. I know one man who has called me something like a spiritual professor. I can shapeshift my own appearance, I even have a male "spirit half" which was seperated from me once when I took a walk in the forrest. He came back and told me he had learned to practice "seidr" (the norse magic). I didn't understand back then, when my shadow showed me there were three seats, with one missing and that he was the missing part. But we are re-united now and I can shapeshift my own physical appearance from female to male, If I desire to.

So there's a lot of weird stuff, in my life, just to mention a few. Maybe I do not even belong here on this planet, as some have also mentioned, but I exist here. I try to fit in.

Blessings to this community...

[TwinDragon]

I am Inanna/Ishtar. My real soul identity is the Goddess mentioned in here as she who descended the Underworld to meet Ereshkigal, the twin sister.

When I was younger I had such a problem with my real identity that I think I asked the Gods to brainwash me, so I could create an alternate persona for my human self. I am a part of a group of souls who can structure and re-structure a human psyche with no problems, we can also shapeshift our human bodies. I have had a lot of issues with my human mind, but I am getting a lot of help to fix them.

My Soul's real father is Nanna, and he is the Moon, my brother is the Sun. My Soul's mother is Ningal, and they are both around.

My siblings are also re-inkarnated as humans, and I have meet two of them, my sister is a bellydancer in another country. Ishkur and Utu are in Norway, and so is Archangel Michael, re-inkarnated in my ex who lives in the neighbor city to mine.

So here you go. I have meet someone who is possibly a greek Goddes re-inarnated too. Her higher soul self, recognized me, and I completely freaked out. But I am stronger now. I have been bullied for my past, by the other Gods, that hang around on the Spirit Plane, you know, the love life, and turning my lover into a wolf.

I have struggled with this my whole life, including my earth father who has looked into me, and he saw my symbol integrated in my soul-energy, the 8 pointed star of Inanna... He thinks I am in a cult. Me and my two brothers wanted to stick together, so we are all in Norway.

Apologies for "putting myself above everyone here" I was really not, it comes from the aspect of me that is Inanna, who still wants to be in service to the people in one way of another. I still carry her temper, so apologies for that too, I may not be the easiest of peoole to relate to. I am an aspect of Venus who chose to come down here again, to play human, and so did the Sun.

An elf who looked into me as a teenager, recognized me as Inanna, because he saw the star in my soul-energy. He is still with me. Ninshubus is too, with me on the spirit plane as my personal assistant

This is not so "incredible", we are just old Gods who chose to play human again, through re-inkarnation, and use a human identity in order to live here as such.

Blessings to everyone...

[Duu]

Hi,
I just felt to share a bit of poetic philosophy that I feel relevant.

Frozen things have no evolution. They have no life.
Thus openness is the key improvement and of living a full life.

I heard once a statement that words are fossilized poems.
It points out to their inherent complexity and also dangers as well.

Sometimes our language is frozen as well.
If you say something “is” something else. It is a frozen language.
Even saying apple is red. Is a misleading statement. As we dont know what variety that apple is and many more vital informations. And of course upon real detailed observation we find out that it is not red everywhere also not red evenly.
And by the way what hue of red do you have in mind?
It is obvious that both apple and red as words are only abstract symbols for something. A symbols that oversimplify and very much mislead. So saying this apple in front of me at this time is appearing to me as mostly red upon current light contritions. Is more precise. And it is in some way more useful.
Buddhist say to mention that redness is not and quality inherent of apple. That is, apple might be mostly red now but in a few years it wont be so. It will be rotten and colored differently.
So the permanence that language gives us is illusory.

So its good to know that giving objects a label is misleading. But if we go beyond and more crucially giving objects labels and believing in them as real, or confusing them with reality is a delusion that will be soon source of suffering.
So I have no problem of someone saying Im a red apple as a poetic expression.
But I would hope that they would not really wish to freeze their realty in a way that their language is frozen.
For even if apple in our mind is ever red and never rots it has one problem, one cant eat it.
If one wants to have pleasure of eating and of life, one has to go with apple that is “imperfect”, meaning so vastly complex it cant be ever described by words. But one that is at the table right now.

Love,
Duu

[Mystress]

 
  You are All that Is, just like we all are. You want to focus on one aspect or another to glorify yourself, you can, at the cost of the others, and a free trip into kundalini psychosis land... but, don't do it here.  We are not the adoring audience of your self aggrandizing delusions.

   You have been bugging me to tell you whats up with you about as long as you have been here, and yes I do know but I don't say because you won't listen and are likely to try to do stupid and dangerous things with the info.  The nature of your posts tells me you have no respect for the teachings, probably have not looked at a lesson in years, you post trying to persuade us all how special you are, shows you are not at all clear on the concept of what FST is about. Ever heard of humility? Leads to Grace.

    I Do Not want to hear your denials, I would just as soon you move on. I don't think you will move on until I do tell you what is up with you, so here it is.

   Sometime around the age of 10, a potential shaman child is tested for their reactions, whether they accept or reject the magic. If they reject it, then it is understood they have made a Free Will choice to not become a shaman.   The reaction of resistance demonstrates that their personality type would not survive the training to become a full Shaman and so they are spared.  Spirit shuts down the whole process, they get to keep their free will.  The Death gate is sealed up tight and nothing can reopen it because it would be fatal.  Their training stops, the guide disappears.

  I call these people a "closed gate."  They get a little extra paranormal, because their body is a hot rod frame designed for shaman potential, but it has all been shut down because by nature, they are unsafe at speed, the engine is a hamster wheel.  They have a little more paranormal abilities than average, but their attainments are mostly limited to what people can get with Kundalini.  They will not, cannot attain anything remotely close to the power and perceptions of a full shaman who has graduated Hell Road, that imperative and potential is sealed because they rejected it in some way, at a pivotal time in their training.

   For me, knowing what it is like on the other side, the closed gates seem rather tragic, though someone  struggling with the training full shamans get, might envy them deeply.  Once in a blue moon a closed gate may be called to do some service, or get some odd visions. Nothing like the powerful imperatives and taboos that drive a full shaman.  They are not and wont be shamans. Most of the closed gates I have encountered so far, were devoutly christian.

  I did not tell you because you don't listen, fools rush in, and it seems likely you may harm yourself, trying to change the past. What was sealed in the past cannot be reopened, and I wont be responsible for stupid things you may do because you do not believe me, or misunderstand me. That disclaimer and others applicable to this post are at http://fire-serpent.com/legal.html.

   What shut it down was probably the same knee jerk reflex of rejection you showed the spirit visitor that time... felt the love, he was not there to harm you, kicked him out anyway, then went running to post about it.  Could have just asked him, eh? he was right there lol.  Shoot first and ask questions later. Fail.

   I saw a visitor out of the corner of my eye the other day, a flash of vision that startled me, I screamed and jumped, (ADHD people have a powerful startle reflex!)  then second guessed myself:  had it only been a trick of the light playing off the prism corner of my reading glasses? Examined the snapshot glimpse more closely in my mind.  Someone bending over me as one might bend over a cradle to check a sleeping child, caring and concern, no harm no malice. Quite beautiful really, to feel so cared for.  Even though the apparition startled a yell of surprise out of me, curiosity was the next reflex, not rejection. I figured out who it was, wrote and asked them, got confirmation they had looked in on me, and accepted that the vision was an answer to my own curiosity about what this person looked like. Stuff like that happens to me every day, normal, would not usually bother to post about it except to demonstrate a distinct difference of personality and innate reactions that is extremely important for some types of magic.

  Took me a few months to realize your visitor was dreamwalker, I had sent him to do healing on you but he missed his aim, arrived in real time when you were awake instead of time travelling to visit you in your dream.  I did ask him to write to you about it after I realized, but hes very shy and you are not nearly telepathic enough to understand his post.

  The love you felt...is the proof of the pudding,  he was the first the spelunking resolution for narcissism was ever tested on, he did it on himself following my guidance and I think he is better at it actually.  The love you are incapable of.  You demonstrated that your reaction to real magic is of fear and rejection, even if you feel the love, you shoot first and ask questions later. Closed gate, Goddess gets it right. Not everyone born with shaman potential, has got the right stuff and it is much too late to change the choice to reject magic, that you made as a child.

  Trust that Goddess gets it right. Carlos Castaneda was a closed gate, the whole story of the books is Don Juan and his friends trying everything they could think of to crack that nut open and getting pissed when nothing worked.  Don Juan had probably never seen a closed gate before, in his culture a shaman would be recognized young and supported. Carlos was not destined to become a shaman, and seldom referred to himself as one, he had seen the real deal and respected those guys. Little scientist boy said no to magic, and instead his closed gate gave him just enough of a bit extra for the Yaqui shamans to take special interest and make him a famous anthropologist. Don't let it go to your head, the guy also worked very hard.

  I did not do it myself because I was not well enough. Responding to your post claiming to have attained the grail when you do not even understand what it is, was the last straw of a difficult year, the trigger that tipped me over into months of burnout.  Your enormous, self centered disrespect of this space and the teachings, and the attainments of the other students was a shock that knocked me right out of my body for the 8 hours of writing trance I took responding to it. During that time a sunny winter afternoon I was enjoying with my window wide open became full night and howling blizzard. I came back to a body that was well into stages of hypothermia, and became very ill, followed by crashing into burnout so my energy was flatlined. 

  I accept I can be vulnerable to my students, enormous empathic sensitivity plus a little streak of oppositional defiance reacting to projections, can be a bad combination especially the hangover from dealing with a very self centered person who will not respect it when I am out of my body channeling and have no boundaries at all.  One student hitting hard enough to make me unavailable to all the other students  for a time, is not fair to the rest.  If that student is all about getting attention, reactions, and isn't even studying, then I think it is fair to demand that they get with the program or GTFO  of my temple.

  Didn't heal from it actually, died of it in a shaman way, after nearly three months with  little improvement my guide kicked me through my own death gate so I could be reborn. Recovered overnight.

  I sent dreamwalker to apply the spelunking resolution to your narcissism so it would not bite me again. On his end, it worked so it is parked waiting in the dreamtime, for you to say yes and accept it. I only realized he had been your visitor, when your persistent behavior demonstrated that it did not work, and when I asked why, I was directed to your visitor post- Free will is Goddess law, and you rejected it.

  Oddly, narcissism is like a bug in some shaman genes, it was intended to be protective. You don't take hits from people like I did with you, if you don't actually give a damn about anyone but yourself.

   You don't bother to respond to other students posts. You do not listen to me.
   I asked you years ago, if you want to use the tearoom as a blog then make one thread with your name and add to it, instead of a new thread each time.  Adding to it brings it back to the top of the list anyway but we don't end up with the whole board dominated by one name pushing other students posts off the bottom. You respected it for about a week. Rules don't apply to the special one?

   You wont become a shaman, that door closed when you were 10 and will not reopen, and the narcissism messes up your life. Say yes to dreamwalker, and take a nap. Find out, what happens next. Do not try to control. Do not respond spewing defenses and telling me I am wrong, because if you think so then why do you want me for a teacher? GTFO.