question about "ordinary lustful pursuits"

[Percyval]

hello Mystress and friends,

in my discussions with our new fellow student, Brian Thunder Ant,
yahoo.com.br="" r="">,
he asks a question about Lesson 3, "The Sacredness of Sexuality":

>  ...what are "ordinary lustful pursuits" ?
> teach mentioned that one should give up your
> ordinary lustful pursuit's to pursure other
> uses for sex energy in "sacred sex" essay...
(snip)
> got to start em before i can cease em, you know...

this was in response to Mystress's quote in the "Sacredness of
Sexuality" essay:
"These are the secrets of Tantra: To cease from ordinary lustful
pursuits, and approach sex as an energy, a force of nature that is an expression of unity with Goddess."

Mystress, i would attempt to answer this one for you, but i'm not really sure i can explain it... for myself, as a Goddess-worshipping sexual submissive, my "ordinary lustful pursuits" are automatically "an expression of unity with Goddess"... but most guy's are not so fortunate, and may have some conflict here... their "ordinary lustful pursuits" may be at odds with this...

i feel that this might end up becoming another form of sexuality/spirituality conflict for some people, like with most traditional Western religions...

how do you reconcile "ceasing ordinary lustful pursuits" with "all acts of love and pleasure serve the Goddess" ?

and how can someone freely express their sexuality if they are not naturally turned on by using their sexuality to acheive unity with Goddess?

lovingly,

percyval

P.S.: there is some reference to this subject in the Tea Room
archives from last year... here's an excerpt:

Posted by Mystress on November 30, 2000 at 04:47:30:
In Reply to: Passive and Active Surrender posted by Augustin on November 29, 2000 at 02:03:29:

AUG: So when last spring Mystress told me to stop watching pornography over the net, I purposefully disregarded her advice. I was afraid to fall back into the trap of thinking "I HAVE TO stop doing this, because Mystress, whom I regard very highly and who is a model of spiritual development for me, told me I SHOULDN'T do it. If I CAN'T control myself, then it means that I am SPIRITUALLY STUCK." So I happily masturbated my summer away.>>>

MAS: Acts of love and pleasure serve..
I want you to examine the terms you use. I know english is your second language, but you seem to have an excellent grasp of it.  I told you to stop. You translated "stop" to "should not".. watch for where that word "should" comes up for you, it is a word the ego uses to make guilt. I suggested you stop, you decided not to stop.. what idea is this to feel guilty for that? I'll misquote Yoda: Do or do not, there is no "should".

AUG: I realize in which way my sexual activity actually doesn't rise from a sexual need, but as an attempt to avoid facing some issues, a way to escape from myself (which of course doesn't work).

MAS: Good that you found that out for yourself. Yes. Escapist external fantasy stimulation is not internal fulfillment of yearnings.

[this is a snipped excerpt of a much longer post -percyval]

[Mystress]

The difference is largely one of attitude. Part of my life mission is around reclaiming the sacredness of sexuality, which was largely lost to Judeo Christian cultural programming of sex as shameful and dirty.

 Thus, "All acts of love and pleasure serve the Goddess" is an attitude of sex as a sacred spiritual expression, as opposed to say, the average porn spam that I get every day,  which might read something like "naughty dirty sluts spread it all for you."

 The kind of stuff that titillates with sexuality offered as something forbidden and dirty, is the kind of "ordinary lustful pursuits" that I recommend avoiding.

 The attitude of tantra for couples is to engage sexuality as an expression of worship of the divine in each other... so that sex is a meeting of Shiva and Shakti, that promotes the spiritual evolution of each, rather than simply a physical exercise of releasing of sexual tension.

  Kundalini is sexual energy, especially at the beginning when the second chakra is being cleared. Later, the sexual energy is redirected into an attitude of sensual bliss that transcends sexuality and becomes manifest in the beauty of life itself. I have had an orgasm from a beautiful sunset, a ripe peach...  My shower tantra rituals have very little conventional sexual imagery. The imagery is of energy movement and my relationship with my Divine Beloved, and the planet itself. I have known people who had unexpected orgasms from seeing bacteria multiply under a microscope, or from art in an art gallery. From Hubble telescope pictures of stars being born in another galaxy.

   Most men feel depleted and tired after orgasm, but if the orgasm is offered up as a gift to Goddess, She gives the energy back, multiplied. Thus, it is not the sexual activity, but the attitude towards the activity, that makes the difference between "ordinary lustful pursuits" and Tantric bliss. Learning the Tantric techniques of orgasm without ejaculation enhances this effect even more.

 The very same sexual activities, no matter how kinky can be manifested as simply "getting off" or as an expression of worship of the Divine within. Depends on the attitude. Physical lust, or an expression of love.

 Similarly, as the post from Augustin mentions, he was using sexual release as an escape from his problems, instead of as a sacred ritual of offering his sexual energy to his Divine Beloved, as an act of worship.

Synchronistically, I just interrupted writing this to pick up the mail from the K-sex list, and a new member, Jimmy describes what I am talking about, very well.

Jimmy wrote:
(((Truthfully, when you do embark on the sexual path and do travel a ways on it, you stop responding to sexual imagery in the same old way and for the same old reasons.  You start responding to the energy that people have, realizing that sexual energy has many other manifestations as well.  Playboys don't do it for me any more, a woman with energy does.  I get a chuckle out of Miss America pageants now, all the girls look like clones.  Seems like some variety should be encouraged.)))

  There ya go... "ordinary lustful pursuits" do not work for him anymore, nor does he respond to the cultural programming of what is beautiful or sexy. He responds to the Goddess energy within a woman, not to her superficial appearance. This is a natural effect of spiritual maturity, and it is the attitude I want my students to embrace. Fake it till ya make it, so to speak.
 blessings...

: hello Mystress and friends,

: in my discussions with our new fellow student, Brian Thunder Ant,
: yahoo.com.br="" r="">,
: he asks a question about Lesson 3, "The Sacredness of Sexuality":

: >  ...what are "ordinary lustful pursuits" ?
: > teach mentioned that one should give up your
: > ordinary lustful pursuit's to pursure other
: > uses for sex energy in "sacred sex" essay...
: (snip)
: > got to start em before i can cease em, you know...

: this was in response to Mystress's quote in the "Sacredness of
: Sexuality" essay:
: "These are the secrets of Tantra: To cease from ordinary lustful
: pursuits, and approach sex as an energy, a force of nature that is an expression of unity with Goddess."

: Mystress, i would attempt to answer this one for you, but i'm not really sure i can explain it... for myself, as a Goddess-worshipping sexual submissive, my "ordinary lustful pursuits" are automatically "an expression of unity with Goddess"... but most guy's are not so fortunate, and may have some conflict here... their "ordinary lustful pursuits" may be at odds with this...

: i feel that this might end up becoming another form of sexuality/spirituality conflict for some people, like with most traditional Western religions...

: how do you reconcile "ceasing ordinary lustful pursuits" with "all acts of love and pleasure serve the Goddess" ?

: and how can someone freely express their sexuality if they are not naturally turned on by using their sexuality to acheive unity with Goddess?

: lovingly,

: percyval