Question about healing, a few thoughts on FST

[earth_heavy]

Hello all, I'm new here and had a couple of questions that I'm having a hard time answering myself. I became K awakened a couple of years ago though for a good year I had no idea what was happening to me. During that time the universe sent me a couple of energy healers to work with to shed some light, though nobody ever said "Oh, you have had a Kundalini awakening" when I described my first experiences. It was clear to me from the start that I have a soul agreement to figure this out on my own. Regardless, I now know what's up though I do have a couple of questions...

The first is regarding Shaktipat. More than a few people have told me that when they are around me they "feel high" and there have been a couple of instances where my touch (handshake, hug, arm around shoulder) have brought on what sound to me like K stirrings (heat, euphoria, warmth up spine), especially in those who are spiritually disconnected with themselves. My question is this: is there something I should be doing to control this effect? My inner guidance tells me that it will only affect those who's higher selves are seeking this contact, but I want to be sure that I'm not inadvertently "lighting people up" who do not want it. I had one friend who seemed concerned about what he felt, and I feel that the word is getting around that I can create this effect - you see where this could lead.

My other question is in regards to healing. Mystress says in her teachings that I should change myself in order to change the world, and I do agree with that - I wouldn't want anyone programming me with their K-fired ideas if I was unaware. During my initial awakening I went through a two or three month bout of K psychosis that I got through by mostly listening to my gut. Every time my ego told me that I was "chosen" the other, deeper part of me knew something was off. It took awhile to figure things out, but in the end I did and its all good. The conclusion I came to was simply this: this energy can fuel one of two things, the mind or the heart. For me it was a matter of redirecting the energy back into my heart and bang, psychosis and ideas of being God(dess) fell away and things got much better very quickly.

But here's the thing...

When I met my first energy healer she told me right away that I was a natural and that I could do what she does. I have felt since I was a child that I wanted to help people who were in need, and even at that young age deeply knew I had a gift that I couldn't identify, and in the last two years I have healed many many issues in myself. During this time I've also healed others through my words, just talking to them and letting them know that things are OK, that they are perfect the way they are despite whatever drama they are knee-deep in etc. I am careful about how I speak and what words I use as I'm aware that my K comes through me in touch and my speaking to them. The question for me is does Mystress see healing as trying to change the world?

I do not actively seek people, but I do notice that the universe sends me folks who are in need from time to time. I'll meet someone new and though I am careful of my thoughts and words, they open up to me and many times within minutes are telling me detailed descriptions of problems they are having, to the point where they themselves are surprised at their openness ("I can't believe I'm telling you this, we just met") - Again, you can see where I'm going with this: on one hand I know I have a gift, as I have had no problem healing not just emotional crap but physical issues in close friends (both directly and empathetically), but on the other hand I've noticed that more and more people are coming my way with this stuff. I don't believe in "saving the world" - but I do believe in using any gift I have to help those who need it, ie: those people who find their way into my life who are obviously suffering from something that I may be able to shed some light on. My inner guidance is silent on this matter, but to me that doesn't mean anything either way, other than I just need to figure it out on a purely human level. I should make it clear that I'm not looking for a direct answer to this from you guys, just curious as to what you're position is...not many un-biased people to go to - if I were to ask any of my friends who are healers this question,  I already know what the answer will be: "Heal them all!"

OK, now I have a few bones to pick w/ FST. So much of Mystress' teachings are clean and to the point - she cuts through the bullshit where alot of other sources that I've found do not - but - I have noticed there are some contradictions. The first being a touch of male-bashing. I am very balanced sexually. I am hetero-male, but have experimented with men in the past, and it wasn't for me - not that they weren't pleasing experiences, but the physical attraction just isn't there. I dig being with women, but in the grand scheme I see myself simply as human before I see any male/female boundaries. I honor both sides of myself and always have. While I am fully aware that the female form carries with it much more mystery and power than the male form may outwardly seem to, here and there in these teachings I notice a streak of sarcasm that I don't see as beneficial for spiritual growth. I know that even writing this down and addressing it could be seen as my own ego in action, but I'm not taking that position - I guess I just feel like it could be pointed out that little "jokes" here and there in the recordings referring to the bluntness of the male form, to men as "pound puppies", and stating that one wouldn't get an "intelligent description" from a man during orgasm doesn't exactly promote or celebrate males as just as an important part of our reality. Yes, I see that women have gotten the shit end of the stick for many generations, and yes, the female form has bowed down to men despite their holding much more sexually creative power than the male, but I guess I'm seeing this kind of language as jumping on the other horn of duality and not really in line with a spiritual teaching as important as K awakening is. The other contradiction I've noticed is in stating that a connection to Source (Goddess) is all one needs, versus engaging Ascended Masters for certain jobs like transmuting entities etc...

Why say "Deal only with Goddess, and not with GWB or Melcheizedeks or any other entity that is not Goddess, unless you need to transmute something, then its OK to call on these guys" I guess it doesn't make sense to me. Under my view of Reality, if a person truly sees her/himself in Goddess, and Goddess in themselves, then in turn all things are equal and both you and Goddess are in all things whether they be ghosts, Ascended Masters, entities, aliens or Moe, Larry and Curly. Unity is Unity, and not is not, but I've noticed some of these teachings bouncing back and forth between the two which may create confusion in someone who is at the beginning of this journey.

Then again, that bouncing back and forth in itself is part of this Reality as well, isn't it - and in the end its all how one sees it in this moment. Well look at me answering my own questions Man, I crack myself up sometimes...

I know it may seem like nit-picking to some, and in certain aspect maybe it is, but I felt I should honor all of my own perceptions here - and if I'm missing something (which I most surely am) then hopefully one of you will hit me with some aspect that I'm not seeing. If nothing else this post will give you guys a peek into who I am, and that I'm glad to be here writing this...

OK, I'm finished Thanks for listening...

[Blossom]

Hey,

I'll just share with you thoughts that I got while reading your post.

So, what you're getting at is that you're exploring the whole 'minding your own business' thing (Solar Plexus/Naval issues). You're not wanting to inadvertently awaken people that aren't ready and you're questioning your energy. Personally, I'd trust your inner guidance and trust that you'll only affect those who are ready (source directs the energy). I'm not sure where you're up to in the course, but it does go into these issues at some point, as well as on the main site (under empathy/boundaries and solar plexus). If it was shakti lighting your friend up it could have been right on an unconscious level, but their conscious fears were coming up to block the experience. Detaching yourself from the outcome is usually best and you just have to trust that shakti knows what it's doing. Experiencing a little discomfort doesn't hurt, but attaching to it makes it grow and hurt more (scratching an itch makes it itch more).

Again, with the healing.. it's connected with the above… it's about feeling the need to mind your own business. It's okay to assist people if they come to you, but I think the point is to not go out and help people because you think they need help (that's a mind or ego issue and also a projection of you thinking you know what is best for them). So, again it's trusting that source or shakti has it handled and will direct the energy to you.. you don't need to seek it out. So, you are flowing in the right direction with your thoughts.  I've had issues with that part (helping people) as well - to the point of stagnation. For me, my issue is finding a balance. I guess you could see this course as giving assistance to people, but they're seeking it out and information is not being thrown at them. :-)

Those are interesting thoughts about male-bashing. I haven't picked that up from the course. I can agree that the course is goddess-orientated. Honouring and finding balance in both is good. :-)

I think as you flow along through the process of K you let go of the need to call on outward assistance. You trust in source to provide you with all you need. So, you're tuning in to your direct connection to source. So, when you first start out you kind of rely on other energies to assist you. The guide and entity clearing goes into this and discernment.

Funnily enough, everything seems to go back to trusting in source…source will guide people to you, source will direct energy, source will give you assistance.. source has it handled :-) so, letting go of the 'control' and allowing source to fully take over.

[Mystress]

OK, now I have a few bones to pick w/ FST. So much of Mystress' teachings are clean and to the point - she cuts through the bullshit where alot of other sources that I've found do not - but - I have noticed there are some contradictions. The first being a touch of male-bashing. I am very balanced sexually.


   The point of that stuff is to poke your buttons so you find your stuff and surrender it. Wanting to argue with me about it because your ego is offended just shows how completely you missed the point. Men are centered in the power chakra... surrender is *much* harder to for men to learn. Consequently I am harder on them, especially in the gender lessons. If it bugs you, then you have work to do. Get on it.  

[earth_heavy]

"Wanting to argue with me about it because your ego is offended just shows how completely you missed the point."

Sorry Mystress, I wasn't picking a fight or wanting to argue, I just needed to dig a little deeper into where the "pokes" were coming from - it was just something I noticed and wanted to ask about. I'm a little skeptical of new teachers - last year I got pretty badly burned (and frightened) by a small group who claimed to know what was up, only to find out that they were preying on people who had either been K awakened or were on that path. In some ways they fed the K psychosis I was experiencing and I found myself in a very, very dark place. Luckily I passed through it and got the hell out - and in the end I gained quite a bit of understanding, but at quite a cost as well. Your pokes just threw up a flag inside me. Again, forgive my questions...and thanks for the graceful answer...its what I was hoping to hear...

and thanks Blossom - You're right, lately I've been very aware of trying to keep a VERY neutral position during this - the last thing I want is to throw anything out of balance in myself or someone else and I know for a fact my power chakra is pretty collapsed. Too many years sitting hunched over a computer. I think I'm going to get the tummo initiation to assist me here. Anyway, I think my latest apprehension stems from a wave of people I know lately calling me saying "I know this person who you should talk to - you could help him" and I'm thinking "Oh shit, here we go." Anyhow, I'm looking deeper into the course - Thanks again for taking the time to write to me...its nice to have some direct contact with folks who are going through the same thing who are in tune with themselves...I was being blown around there for awhile...

[earth_heavy]

funny, I re-read my initial post today and saw a few parts where my ego was gleaming through. Here I offer them up to goddess, and thank you for reading them without judgment...

-jase