Sleep furry

[Sandra]

I wake up furry with a sense of having spent time with too many folks busy chatting me up. While I'm sleeping. Intellectually when I wake I know "Get up, water, walk, breathe in new energy" and that I'll shift and have a new day. But physically I feel beat with a sack of doorknobs. Covered in the slight sensation of threads and cords everywhere. Myself pacing behind fortress walls without knowing.

I wish myself free. I wish myself happy. And I have the chance all the waking day to reconnect and work on it. But during the night while I'm sleeping and unconscious? I'm having to sleep during the day to catch up. I'm angry. I feel time lost with whatever/whomever it is checking in and that the flow is unfair.

So I don't get up. I roll over, clutch pillow and worry if magic is afoot or if Goddess has some awesomeness in play and I need to have patience. But I don't feel my cup filled, I feel it draining out. I seek to ground before I sleep, as I wake all night long, and when I wake - but there comes a point where the constancy of ME shuffling off others, is like... why bother with this shell that is wanted for playtime so much? Energetic-hygiene work for the restoration of something that can't even get an hour off to sleep? Why bother?

I swear I have the visions of others where their mythology lets them have what they see as their play-thing. That they see me. Talk to me. And it is all affecting me. Profoundly. Like I've done an hour of squats during the night, changed my own religion, decided it IS best to become a good house-frau instead of the creation of me I thought for me during the day, delivered a pregnancy, or had my wrists in odd positions... Like that. I wake like that. Ouch.

I want my sleep. I don't want to be so messy. I want my day too! Sleeping during the day because the night is robbed? Why bother. A guardian that blocks my root leaving it unstreaming is bullshit. Waking up with a fresh batch of symbols all over me is bullshit. Angels, Reiki, wiccan, buddhist, infinity, shit I've never seen before, psychic remnants I don't even know about. 

... It's hard for me to write here in the tea room.

but it would be soooooo really great to have a fresh view on my sleep furriness. Soooooo really great. Does anyone have thoughts or an assist on what this is or sounds like? S.