Problems with the heart voice

[Marco]

Dear Mystress, dear friends,

I just wanted to ask a question relating to the heart voice. I still have problems with this exercise. I have done the enitity-cleaning-exercise for some weeks now but still have problems with the heart voice. I seem to get conflicting signals. Usually I just feel energy sensations when I concentrate on it or just heat or pain. Today I asked my heart voice whether the relationship with my girlfriend will continue when she goes abroad and I know that this was an idiotic question to aks as I still do get conflicting signals with the basic questions. When I asked the question I first received a reaction of the heart center that seemed to be positive or at least neutral and when I asked the question  on and on I felt a knot in my stomach and the first reaction to this sensation was that the word "fear" popped up in my mind. When I asked myself the question "Do you love me", the same reaction came up and got even worse. Since several days I have been feeling enormous heat in my whole body (actually since I met my girlfriend for the first time) and and quite intense feelings that made my cry during the night. When I woke up the next morning I was usually drenched in sweat and felt a a painful pressure in my chest and it usually took me several hours to come out of this state of depression (mostly intense crying helped)I think that just concentrating on the sensation of the heart center seems to work for me better as I remember, that you Mystress spoke of "shielding" as my main problem and not entities. I also have the feeling that the difficult relationship to my soulmate helps me to clear the heart chakra but I am getting a little ennerved by getting constantly confronted with the heart voice in some of the exercises in this course but still being unsure of my progress.

Best wishes,
your Marco

[Mystress]

  Marco:

    I think the post I just finished answers most of these questions. 

   Sometimes Kundalini brings together two people because they trigger each other to faster growing, and an infatuation comes to get them to obsess about each other so they stay focused... but it doesn't last. There are always a ton of obstacles in the way of anything permanent because it is meant to fall apart when its purpose has been served. 

   You cannot be worried about the future and grounded at the same time.  You were afraid of what your heart would tell you, and so your heart expressed your fear.  You are going through a bumpy time, be gentle with yourself and go more slowly through the lessons.  Its growing pains, things will turn out alright! Though maybe not as you hope or expect.

   Blessings!

[Marco]

Dear Mystress,

I did as you instructed me to do and I just wanted to add some new experiences I had during the last few days. I worked on my grounding and received positive results with the basic questions of the "heart-voice". (By the way: The relationship to the woman gets more and more relaxed and I would not be surprised if you you were right when you said that it would not last.) After that I tried to do the lesson "waking the serpents". As I did the lesson I received a "no" when asking whether it is the right time or not to wake the serpents. At that point I started to get nervous and lost my grounding however still I asked when It would be the right time and the answer was "Not in this lifetime" I have to say that I immediately felt that this question has to be wrong as I show a lot of symptoms that simply have to be Kundalini -related. Also I asked the question when I was already losing my grounding. So I went back to the entity-cleaning lesson and did it a few times and then went back and tried it again. This time I came up with the idea to concentrate on the soles of my feet while simultaneously contemplating the heart in order not to lose the grounding and as I again received a "no" I tried to stay cool and asked why the heart said "no" and the answer was: "Because your Kundalini is already awakened." After this session I have to say that I noticed that I am now faced with a new problem: I do not trust the heart-voice! I am so much used to rely on my intellect that I am very doubtful about following a voice from within. So I did the same session with the same question the next day again. Obviously Maha Shakti was fed up with my doubts because as I started to ask whether Shakti was already awakened or not I started to have some intense Kriyas immediately. As I tried the question again, the Kriyas intensified and I started to have vocal Kriyas, babbling like a madman. After some seconds, everything was back to normal. I hope I have learned  my lesson. By the way: My symptoms at night have also changed. For some days, I had the following situation: When lying in bed, my stomach would get extremely hot. The area was, where the Chinese would put the Dantien, approximately 3 fingers below the navel and within the body. I also had the feeling that the heat in the stomach would develop a kind of core. It felt like the tip of a pin that was super-hot. Then, the heat would spread to my arms and charge them with heat. Also I felt pain from my shoulders to my fingertips as if my nerves would adjust to this charge. The whole thing lasted for several days. Is this symptom kundalini-related or has this something to do with tummo?

Best wishes,
your Marco