In Gratitude for this course!

[Lauren]

I just wanted to express my gratitude for this course, and the help that Mystress gives us, just in the right balance.  I have been reading about the difficulties that others who used to have Gurus had, and can relate. There is a lot of pain in the separation.  But I also know that life (and the Kundalini) goes on, and that it is is very nice to know that there is somewhere to turn.  I have learned that much of my own experience was an inner dialogue with my DB, which increased in time. The direct experiences were a result of really tuning into the energy and the bliss, letting things happen naturally (not because of self-inquiry...but it was kind of funny that I could see where the questions came from once I got the answers.)  And that it got difficult to carry on this inner work when I had an attachment to an external Guru (who was so easy for me to love and not want anything beyond that love), but I saw that in order to integrate my experiences I had to have no attachments.  I had been incapable of feeling love unless it was from the Guru, and I needed to experience that I was the love that I had been searching for.  I have been regaining my focus on what is inside.

I am grateful for the the phone sessions I had, as so much was clarified.  I am being more able to understand where my short-comings were concerning not looking at things I did not want to look at and projecting them onto others. (I also am doing lesson 5.) I am definitely clearer about the role my DB has had in my life.  And the truth is, although I have not been one who ever enjoyed sex, I know that my DB related to me inside in places where I felt loved and wanted and great bliss, and it was this that led me to spiritual experiences (as I kept asking for more).  This is where I feel very compatible with this course.  And also because we do not have a teacher who allows us to become dependant...  When I left the Ashram, my prayer was to find someone  who would work with me only on the spiritual aspects without all the emotional problems of the past.  Thank you for what you have created here.