intoduction

[Taurus Artist]

Hello Fire Serpent Community!
I'm a new member and would like to introduce myself

I now realize I have been living with the problem of the awakening for many years now.

   You see many years ago as a child I journeyed to India with my family (I am of East Indian origin with catholic roots). Before that time I think I was quite an average child. I played the same games, drew the same pictures, and was a generally happy fellow. After being exposed to a society that was radically different than the one I was used to, I felt different and acted different.

   -My artistic skills continued to devellop long after most children abandoned such pursuits( I am currently pursuing a career as an artist).
   -I became more withdrawn socially, I kept to myself and didn't want to
participate in many group activities, such as sports.
   - I became more confrontational with my family
   -I develloped an interest in fetischism(cross dressing).  As a youngster
I would secretly try on my mother's high heeled boots, lingere, and make-up.
I still like to cross dress. I am not transgendered, I am comfortable being a man, but I enjoy wearing pretty things and make-up. I like the feeling of
having my masculinity and femininity intermingle, it gives me a moment of peace.  I especially enjoy wearing anything that's tight and black (I own a couple of black corsets!). I don't expect everyone to understand this, but it is part of who I am.

    - I live with the physical symptoms of the awakening as well; the constant restlessness, and difficulty concentrating. Spontaneous graceful movements. Tingliness in the limbs.Time to time insomnia. I thought these physical things were just my own problems, I had no idea they were the manifestatio of something else. I do have a super awareness of the world,people and myself, which has helped me as an artist, but which has also hindered social
interaction. Many of these issues I have improved in recent years, but I am still far from reaching the peace with myself I so desire.

   I am now at a crossroads in my life. do I take on the challenges of building myself as an  independant artist or settle for the safe life of comercial art? I know in my gut I want to be a true creative artist sharing myself and creativity to the world, but my doubts say take the safe option.

[Mystress]

: Hello Fire Serpent Community!
: I'm a new member and would like to introduce myself

Welcome!

: I now realize I have been living with the problem of the awakening for many years now.

:     You see many years ago as a child I journeyed to India with my family (I am of East Indian origin with catholic roots). Before that time I think I was quite an average child. I played the same games, drew the same pictures, and was a generally happy fellow. After being exposed to a society that was radically different than the one I was used to, I felt different and acted different.

:     -My artistic skills continued to devellop long after most children abandoned such pursuits( I am currently pursuing a career as an artist).
:     -I became more withdrawn socially, I kept to myself and didn't want to
: participate in many group activities, such as sports.
:     - I became more confrontational with my family
:     -I develloped an interest in fetischism(cross dressing).  As a youngster
: I would secretly try on my mother's high heeled boots, lingere, and make-up.
: I still like to cross dress. I am not transgendered, I am comfortable being a man, but I enjoy wearing pretty things and make-up. I like the feeling of
: having my masculinity and femininity intermingle, it gives me a moment of peace.  I especially enjoy wearing anything that's tight and black (I own a couple of black corsets!). I don't expect everyone to understand this, but it is part of who I am.

Cross dressing is a good way to bring forth your fem side.. the Divine Beloved. I think most of the members are "vanilla", but all are welcome. No judgments.

:      - I live with the physical symptoms of the awakening as well; the constant restlessness, and difficulty concentrating.

Restlessness and difficulty concentrating are not usual K. symtoms. A lot of artists are ADD, including myself. Have you considered being tested for that? Social interaction problems too.. not that you are not awakened, but it may be that you are dealing with awakening plus ADD.

:Spontaneous graceful movements. Tingliness in the limbs. Time to time insomnia. I thought these physical things were just my own problems, I had no idea they were the manifestation of something else. I do have a super awareness of the world, people and myself, which has helped me as an artist, but which has also hindered social
: interaction. Many of these issues I have improved in recent years, but I am still far from reaching the peace with myself I so desire.

:     I am now at a crossroads in my life. do I take on the challenges of building myself as an  independant artist or settle for the safe life of comercial art? I know in my gut I want to be a true creative artist sharing myself and creativity to the world, but my doubts say take the safe option.

Why can't you do both? Enjoy the security of a commercial income, and pursue the fine arts on your own time? Whatever you decide, I am sure it will be for the best.. thank you for introducing yourself. Blessings!

[Percyval]

hello Taurus Artist... welcome to the list... i'm a taurus also... such a beautiful sign!

also, i have expereinced crossdressing a number of times as part of a femdom scene... it is remarkable how much dressing up (wig, makeup, earings and the works) can change who you feel you are...

as Mystress was saying (if i remember her words right), you can take on the persona of your Divine Beloved... i definitely experienced this...

warnly,

percyval

[Taurus Artist]

I have wondered if my problems stem from ADD. As of present there is no real cure for this disorder, Ritalin is only a temporary fix, it doesn't really change the underlying brain structure, so I've read.

[Mystress]

: I have wondered if my problems stem from ADD. As of present there is no real cure for this disorder, Ritalin is only a temporary fix, it doesn't really change the underlying brain structure, so I've read.

 The other popular med is dexedrine. Some people find that a breif stint with medication helps them to learn coping strategies to help handle things when they are off the medication.
 In any case, reading up on ADD may help you to understand yourself better..
Personally, I think ADD is the mark of a natural Witch.. but even so, it is good to know yourself and learn to cope.
Blessings!

[Robet]

Hallo
Please tell me, what ADD stands for
Thanks
Eric

[Augustin]

: Hallo
: Please tell me, what ADD stands for
: Thanks
: Eric

hi Eric... Welcome to the course (I don't recall seing you on this board before).

ADD= Attention Deficit Desorder.

There is a post from Mystress on the K-list about ADD with plenty of interesting and informative links about it.
The message was posted on the 9th of April and has the following topic line:
Re: [K-list] Thanks(relationship and communication)

If you are a member of the k-list, you can look it up yourself in the archives or I can forward it to you, should you be interested (I don't think Angelique would mind).

yours,

Augustin