Pre-Graduation essay

[Scott K]

PRE-GRADUATION ESSAY

MY HOLISTIC JOURNEY

Around the age of 10 I asked Jesus to come into my life, became quite interested in eating healthy and started bodybuilding. Looking back now at these 3 choices I guess I could say they where all fear driven, but healthy choices none the less.

The paranormal always fascinated me. Coming from a Christian background though, most of these things where taboo and or from the Devil.

A few years ago I was give the opportunity to make some wrongs I did years ago, right. It was the hardest process I ever went through but well worth it. When I was first confronted about what I had done, I knew instantly that I could lie my way out of it, but instead I handed it over to God and said it%rsquos all yours, admitted I had done something wrong that needed dealing with and just faithfully went along for the ride. And what a ride it has been.

This process of healing emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually has led me through many different modalities.

The first part of my healing process I went through was seeing a councillor for about half a year to deal with issues in my life that needed work on, especially low self esteem. Having grown up with ADHD and Tourette%rsquos, along with your typical dysfunctional family and no help from anyone to deal with these problems can totally mess one's life up. I never even knew of Tourette%rsquos until I started looking into what made me tick all these years. It%rsquos a scary thought that allot of people with Tourette%rsquos end up in jail.

Around this same time I started seeing an alternative health practitioner whose main tool was using Live Blood Analysis to diagnose one%rsquos health problems. This helped my physical healing immensely.

Also after being fascinated by the human body and the paranormal I found myself studying the human energy field more and more and after lots of reading and praying I took what is a big step for a Christian and started working with an energy worker that helped me get started in balancing my chakras and aura amongst other things.

I also started working with another energy worker who taught me how to do a bunch of stuff on my own. And also started working with someone who works with one%rsquos organs and lymphatic system which also helped me immensely.

About 2 years ago I remember I was in a book store glancing over articles and ads in some Metaphysical type magazine when I came across an ad I found interesting but looked too spooky-hocus-pocus to me so I just put the magazine aside. About a year and a half ago I was doing some research on the internet and once again I came upon the same person%rsquos ad%hellip Angelique Fire Serpent. After reading all the web-site had to say and being that the price was not too high, I decided to sign up and see where the course took me. Now a year and half latter I am nearing the end of the Fire Serpent Tantra course and what an inner journey it has been.

Since I started this course I attended two Kundalini Intensives in Calgary and have also completed a Silva course. I enjoyed these immensely, learned lots, made new friends and enjoyed the good vibes.

The Fire Serpent Tantra course was off to a bit of a rocky start for me. At first it took me way out of my comfort zone. Being a Christian since the age of 10 puts lots of pre-conceived notions in ones head and to get past them took a very big leap of faith for me. In fact, I%rsquove been thinking lately that the main thing that is keeping me from becoming closer to God/Goddess is religion, specifically Christianity.

I%rsquove spent lots of my life exploring what I consider the %ldquoedges%rdquo and now as I have begun this holistic journey I find myself drawn more to the middle. As I reject organized religion more and more, I find myself wanting to test some of these edges again but from a different perspective.

I%rsquove gotten to know myself quite a bit better during these lessons. I realize that eventually one needs to quit reading and studying and start experiencing.

Allot of the teachings in this course have already been introduced to me through church, reading, counselling, etc., but now it%rsquos being introduced to me without any of the baggage that one%rsquos ego or religion brings along with it.

So much of what I learned is stuff that I already knew without ever having heard about it anywhere, but has now been put into words for me. It gets me thinking, what else is lurking between my ears! I guess if %ldquoAll is One%rdquo then who%rsquos to say that I can%rsquot be the teacher? Maybe the Gatekeeper needs to crack open that gate for me a bit more!

The Sacredness of Sexuality lesson really hits home when it talks about sex, an energy, a force of nature that is an expression of unity with Goddess and not for the sake of lustful pursuits.  I have had these old messed up girlfriends call me who still want me to bone them, but I realize there is no intimacy in doing this and they have no self respect for themselves. If I where to satisfy my sexual desires with these girls I wouldn%rsquot be satisfied and it would just lead to addiction. I feel two people need to be in the same %ldquospace%rdquo before they consent to having a sexual relationship.

Finding completion in my-self is important to me, so I don%rsquot end up trying to project my Devine beloved unto someone else, which would just end up ruining what may have been a good relationship.

I must remind myself to not fantasize about other people without their consent or else I will be committing Astral Rape.

I%rsquove been spending a bit of time lately doing exercises that help me imagine and feel what it would be like to be female, letting Goddess and my-self enjoy my feminine side, yet not wanting a sex change nor wanting to become a homosexual.  When having sex solo I have been trying to imagine having both genitalia and making love to myself. I am enjoying being single and on my own, but believe I would probably be better off married to someone who shares the same passion in this stuff as I do.

The Shadow Self is fascinating to me and having learned about it I now examine more closely what I say about other people and can also tell more about what other people are really like when I listen to them talk.

The Witness-State has been helpful to me more than a few times, especially when I am applying and observing these lessons in my own life.

I%rsquove become more aware of myself as Spirit having human experience.

Goddess does not judge our actions but what we put out comes back multiplied. I create my own future and in some ways can change my past.

I must be on guard that my good intentions are not backed by fear.

I%rsquove better learned discernment in what needs to be shared to whom and when.

Surrendering all the time and remaining detached from other people%rsquos issues is important so I don%rsquot develop more ego from fragments of other peoples Karma.

I am quite a dynamic person who knows lots but cannot put it into words. This has bothered me until I took this course. Becoming more like an animal and relying on instinct, instead of ego is something that this course has made me understand is a worthy goal. The following quote has helped me realize this in the past; The majority believes that everything hard to comprehend must be profound. This is incorrect. What is hard to understand is what is immature, unclear and often false. The highest wisdom is simple and passes through the brain directly into the heart. - Viktor Schauberger

Surrender, surrender, surrender%hellip less Karma equals more freedom%hellip die to the ego%hellip let Love wash through me%hellip it%rsquos great to be alive%hellip more alive than ever before%hellip come dance with me Goddess%hellip fill me with light and laughter%hellip wrap yourself around me%hellip embrace me%hellip Love%hellip Pure White Light.

Moving Forward
Scott K

[Gustaf]

Namaste Scott!

Thank you for sharing. It's a true beauty to read and find some things so different from my own experiences, yet other things so incredibly familiar and close!

Sometimes I get the feeling that the FST creates an energetic family, where we have the chance to uplift one another and be uplifted, rather than engage in draining energy tug-o-wars that are so common in day-to-day existence.

I think this is the first stuff I've seen you post here, and it's wonderful that you did!

Shanti
Gustaf

[Scott K]

Actually most of those Scott posts are mine.

Thanks : )

: I think this is the first stuff I've seen you post here, and it's wonderful that you did!

: Shanti
: Gustaf

[Mystress]

: PRE-GRADUATION ESSAY: About 2 years ago I remember I was in a book store glancing over articles and ads in some Metaphysical type magazine when I came across an ad I found interesting but looked too spooky-hocus-pocus to me so I just put the magazine aside. About a year and a half ago I was doing some research on the internet and once again I came upon the same person%rsquos ad%hellip Angelique Fire Serpent. After reading all the web-site had to say and being that the price was not too high, I decided to sign up and see where the course took me. Now a year and half latter I am nearing the end of the Fire Serpent Tantra course and what an inner journey it has been.
: Moving Forward
: Scott K

I don't usually comment much on Grad essays. The curious thing is, I don't think I have ever advertised in a metaphysical magazine!
 This is not the first time something like this has happened... I have one client who says he first saw my site 15 years ago. I only got online 10 years ago. Goddess did it~!
 Congrats, Scott.

[Dee]

Beautiful Scott.  I am still early in the learning but have done some Tantra work recently.  As I read your post, while I'm sitting here listening to the beautiful music from the Soundtrack of the movie Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, your post touches me. It touches my heart, my soul, my everything.  Great work.

[Scott K]

Thanks Dee : )

: Beautiful Scott.  I am still early in the learning but have done some Tantra work recently.  As I read your post, while I'm sitting here listening to the beautiful music from the Soundtrack of the movie Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, your post touches me. It touches my heart, my soul, my everything.  Great work.