Dreamtime

[b0b]

Let me start at the beginning...

When I was 11 or 12, I had a very vivid dream.  About 2 weeks later every step of the dream came true.  It was not anything traumatic, but since that time I have almost no recollection of any dreams at all.  At the most I retain a few fleeting glimpses of what I experience in my dreams but they are seldom.  I have tried several different methods to recall my dreams but none have been successful.  

Jump to current situation...

I have been having extremely violent reactions to my dreams lately.  My girlfriend has become scared to sleep next to me for fear of being kicked or hit when I slip into one of these dreams. In my waking moments I have always tended toward non-violence. I am a very calm person 98% of the time and have a lot of patience.  This complete opposition in my dreams has got wondering what I could possibly be dreaming and reacting to.  The violent dreams started about the time I got my first Kundalini Reiki attunement, which was supposed to help the Kundalini rise without all the many possible side effects that can be experienced in the process. Kundalini Reiki is a form of Reiki in which there are no symbols used, so I can't imagine that a block was created that way.  

Could this be my reaction to the Kundalini rise?  Is my body fighting against the Goddess and refusing to surrender on it's own or perhaps my unconcious mind fighting to control Her?

I had a dream like this only once that I know of before my intro to K.  At that time I had fallen asleep on the couch, and awoke in extreme pain.  I had kicked the coffee table so hard I broke two toes. The problem is...I don't know what I am dreaming.

Any advice or assistance would be very welcome...I have gotten to the point where I only sleep about 4 hours a night, and tend to snap back awake as I enter REM sleep, thus avoiding the conflict.  This can't be very healthy I am afraid... in the meantime I have been keeping myself from losing it through meditation and grounding excercises.  They help but don't really make up for the missing sleep.

Love and Light!

b0b

[b0b]

Well...no takers yet.  I have been meditating on my situation.  I keep feeling /sensing/ whatever that the answer lies in keeping the balance.  If this means goddess wants me to get more violent in my waking hours then I am going to have a problem surrendering to that one... perhaps I need a bit more of the Dominant role in my sexual encounters? I had a real bad day last week, I lost a Reiki patient.  She died of cancer.  Incredible enough, after I came to accept that I do not control the healing power of Reiki and that it heals what the patient needs most, I slept 8 hours as peaceful as could be.  This did not last though, but I did get a good nights sleep in surrender.

Love and Light!

b0b

: Let me start at the beginning...

: When I was 11 or 12, I had a very vivid dream.  About 2 weeks later every step of the dream came true.  It was not anything traumatic, but since that time I have almost no recollection of any dreams at all.  At the most I retain a few fleeting glimpses of what I experience in my dreams but they are seldom.  I have tried several different methods to recall my dreams but none have been successful.  

: Jump to current situation...

: I have been having extremely violent reactions to my dreams lately.  My girlfriend has become scared to sleep next to me for fear of being kicked or hit when I slip into one of these dreams. In my waking moments I have always tended toward non-violence. I am a very calm person 98% of the time and have a lot of patience.  This complete opposition in my dreams has got wondering what I could possibly be dreaming and reacting to.  The violent dreams started about the time I got my first Kundalini Reiki attunement, which was supposed to help the Kundalini rise without all the many possible side effects that can be experienced in the process. Kundalini Reiki is a form of Reiki in which there are no symbols used, so I can't imagine that a block was created that way.  

: Could this be my reaction to the Kundalini rise?  Is my body fighting against the Goddess and refusing to surrender on it's own or perhaps my unconcious mind fighting to control Her?

: I had a dream like this only once that I know of before my intro to K.  At that time I had fallen asleep on the couch, and awoke in extreme pain.  I had kicked the coffee table so hard I broke two toes. The problem is...I don't know what I am dreaming.

: Any advice or assistance would be very welcome...I have gotten to the point where I only sleep about 4 hours a night, and tend to snap back awake as I enter REM sleep, thus avoiding the conflict.  This can't be very healthy I am afraid... in the meantime I have been keeping myself from losing it through meditation and grounding excercises.  They help but don't really make up for the missing sleep.

: Love and Light!

: b0b

[b0b]

Well...no takers yet.  I have been meditating on my situation.  I keep feeling /sensing/ whatever that the answer lies in keeping the balance.  If this means goddess wants me to get more violent in my waking hours then I am going to have a problem surrendering to that one... perhaps I need a bit more of the Dominant role in my sexual encounters? I had a real bad day last week, I lost a Reiki patient.  She died of cancer.  Incredible enough, after I came to accept that I do not control the healing power of Reiki and that it heals what the patient needs most, I slept 8 hours as peaceful as could be.  This did not last though, but I did get a good nights sleep in surrender.

Love and Light!

b0b

: Let me start at the beginning...

: When I was 11 or 12, I had a very vivid dream.  About 2 weeks later every step of the dream came true.  It was not anything traumatic, but since that time I have almost no recollection of any dreams at all.  At the most I retain a few fleeting glimpses of what I experience in my dreams but they are seldom.  I have tried several different methods to recall my dreams but none have been successful.  

: Jump to current situation...

: I have been having extremely violent reactions to my dreams lately.  My girlfriend has become scared to sleep next to me for fear of being kicked or hit when I slip into one of these dreams. In my waking moments I have always tended toward non-violence. I am a very calm person 98% of the time and have a lot of patience.  This complete opposition in my dreams has got wondering what I could possibly be dreaming and reacting to.  The violent dreams started about the time I got my first Kundalini Reiki attunement, which was supposed to help the Kundalini rise without all the many possible side effects that can be experienced in the process. Kundalini Reiki is a form of Reiki in which there are no symbols used, so I can't imagine that a block was created that way.  

: Could this be my reaction to the Kundalini rise?  Is my body fighting against the Goddess and refusing to surrender on it's own or perhaps my unconcious mind fighting to control Her?

: I had a dream like this only once that I know of before my intro to K.  At that time I had fallen asleep on the couch, and awoke in extreme pain.  I had kicked the coffee table so hard I broke two toes. The problem is...I don't know what I am dreaming.

: Any advice or assistance would be very welcome...I have gotten to the point where I only sleep about 4 hours a night, and tend to snap back awake as I enter REM sleep, thus avoiding the conflict.  This can't be very healthy I am afraid... in the meantime I have been keeping myself from losing it through meditation and grounding excercises.  They help but don't really make up for the missing sleep.

: Love and Light!

: b0b

[Mystress]

Hello, b0b:

 I have heard mixed things about Kundalini reiki. It is not about the symbols, as such. Intentions and limiting beliefs can be passed along too. The whole idea of reiki is thinking you need something that Goddess won't provide directly. Initiation itself is motivated by limiting beliefs. The ability to channel chi is built in, only the faith in it, is lacking.

What you did, in surrendering responsibility for results, seems to have blown the dust off, cleared some of it.

The violence in your sleep puzzles me, but I am moved to tell you to get some kind of aggression release out consciously. Get a punching bag, kick a cardboard box around the block, or take up a martial art like Tai kwon do or Karate. Play hockey. Choose some safe consensual or inanimate outlet.

When you allow yourself to express aggression consciously in a safe way, it will tell you its secrets and you will remember some dreams.

 Feels like you are trying to skip ahead to the Sage, but there is a warrior side that you have repressed into your unconscious, needing to be expressed first. We are aggressive animals, "life eats life", and that is part of the nature of the body. You have to make peace with that, by giving it expression and finding a safe way of exploring it physically.

Personally, I like to smash things, and my hubby has caught my enthusiasm. I had an old overstuffed couch that needed to be thrown away. I kicked it to pieces, then we dropped it on end, 16" off the back deck onto cement, then attacked it with hammers, axes and crowbars until it was in pieces small enough to fit into the fireplace and garbage can. Practical, and cathartic!

 I also take a childlike glee in buying ugly china plates at garage sales, then putting them into a clear plastic bag and heaving them violently off the deck onto the cement. They make a great crashing noise when they demolish, into conveniently small bits for making tile mosaics.

 You must build a bridge to your warrior self, by allowing it a place to be expressed. This will bring you into balance with nature- your own nature.  Blessings!

: Well...no takers yet.  I have been meditating on my situation.  I keep feeling /sensing/ whatever that the answer lies in keeping the balance.  If this means goddess wants me to get more violent in my waking hours then I am going to have a problem surrendering to that one... perhaps I need a bit more of the Dominant role in my sexual encounters? I had a real bad day last week, I lost a Reiki patient.  She died of cancer.  Incredible enough, after I came to accept that I do not control the healing power of Reiki and that it heals what the patient needs most, I slept 8 hours as peaceful as could be.  This did not last though, but I did get a good nights sleep in surrender.

: Love and Light!

: b0b
:  

: : Let me start at the beginning...

: : When I was 11 or 12, I had a very vivid dream.  About 2 weeks later every step of the dream came true.  It was not anything traumatic, but since that time I have almost no recollection of any dreams at all.  At the most I retain a few fleeting glimpses of what I experience in my dreams but they are seldom.  I have tried several different methods to recall my dreams but none have been successful.  

: : Jump to current situation...

: : I have been having extremely violent reactions to my dreams lately.  My girlfriend has become scared to sleep next to me for fear of being kicked or hit when I slip into one of these dreams. In my waking moments I have always tended toward non-violence. I am a very calm person 98% of the time and have a lot of patience.  This complete opposition in my dreams has got wondering what I could possibly be dreaming and reacting to.  The violent dreams started about the time I got my first Kundalini Reiki attunement, which was supposed to help the Kundalini rise without all the many possible side effects that can be experienced in the process. Kundalini Reiki is a form of Reiki in which there are no symbols used, so I can't imagine that a block was created that way.  

: : Could this be my reaction to the Kundalini rise?  Is my body fighting against the Goddess and refusing to surrender on it's own or perhaps my unconcious mind fighting to control Her?

: : I had a dream like this only once that I know of before my intro to K.  At that time I had fallen asleep on the couch, and awoke in extreme pain.  I had kicked the coffee table so hard I broke two toes. The problem is...I don't know what I am dreaming.

: : Any advice or assistance would be very welcome...I have gotten to the point where I only sleep about 4 hours a night, and tend to snap back awake as I enter REM sleep, thus avoiding the conflict.  This can't be very healthy I am afraid... in the meantime I have been keeping myself from losing it through meditation and grounding excercises.  They help but don't really make up for the missing sleep.

: : Love and Light!

: : b0b

[b0b]

: Hello, b0b:

Hi!

:   I have heard mixed things about Kundalini reiki. It is not about the symbols, as such. Intentions and limiting beliefs can be passed along too. The whole idea of reiki is thinking you need something that Goddess won't provide directly. Initiation itself is motivated by limiting beliefs. The ability to channel chi is built in, only the faith in it, is lacking.

Yes, the ability to use the energy represented by reiki is inherent in all of us.  The problem, as you seem to understand, is our doubt in being able to channel it.  While I agree here, I also feel that without the "push" of initiation, the breech into this energy would never be reached by many.  Reiki works to open the chakras, and in the Kundalini Reiki version this also applies to opening up the channel for the kundalini to rise.
It is supposed to assist through giving you energy to deal with the karma issues as the arise.  The problem I experienced is that the kundalini rises, blasts through the top of my head, and after the session retreats right back to where it started.
If I don't do grounding after that then my head wants to explode the next morning. Grounding evens the playing field of energy again.

: What you did, in surrendering responsibility for results, seems to have blown the dust off, cleared some of it.

Yes, it is getting better.  There was a whole lot of pent up frustration at not being able to heal someone at my own whim...probably a lot left over from my wife's losing battle with cancer and my feeling so helpless all the way through until the funeral.

:  The violence in your sleep puzzles me, but I am moved to tell you to get some kind of aggression release out consciously. Get a punching bag, kick a cardboard box around the block, or take up a martial art like Tai kwon do or Karate. Play hockey. Choose some safe consensual or inanimate outlet.

:  When you allow yourself to express aggression consciously in a safe way, it will tell you its secrets and you will remember some dreams.

:   Feels like you are trying to skip ahead to the Sage, but there is a warrior side that you have repressed into your unconscious, needing to be expressed first. We are aggressive animals, "life eats life", and that is part of the nature of the body. You have to make peace with that, by giving it expression and finding a safe way of exploring it physically.

:  Personally, I like to smash things, and my hubby has caught my enthusiasm. I had an old overstuffed couch that needed to be thrown away. I kicked it to pieces, then we dropped it on end, 16" off the back deck onto cement, then attacked it with hammers, axes and crowbars until it was in pieces small enough to fit into the fireplace and garbage can. Practical, and cathartic!

:   I also take a childlike glee in buying ugly china plates at garage sales, then putting them into a clear plastic bag and heaving them violently off the deck onto the cement. They make a great crashing noise when they demolish, into conveniently small bits for making tile mosaics.

:   You must build a bridge to your warrior self, by allowing it a place to be expressed. This will bring you into balance with nature- your own nature.  Blessings!
:

Well, I thought my ten years as a soldier would have satisfied that warrior self...I guess I didn't get to kill enough being a peactime warrior ;-).  I start monday on a new workout program. I will try and get a little more of the aggression out there :-).  Will let you know how it proceeds.

Love and Light!

b0b