Physical Heart vs Heart Chakra

[edward]

Hello,

I think I have misunderstood where to look for a "yes" response, when using the body's navigation system.

I have usually focused on the Heart Chakra (centre of my chest), and feel if it becomes warm. But tonight I thought about Mystress's writings, and it says Heart and not Heart Chakra.

When I focus on the Physical Heart (a little bit to the left from the centre of chest) I experience a more clear warm feeling, from it, when getting a "yes" response.

is this right?


Edward 

[Mari]

Hi!
I don't really have a clue. In my case it's not like that, but more like warm blissful feeling spreading from the center of my breast. Not from the physical heart.

[edward]

hmm... centre of chest feels more right. I asked the physical heart if Goddess loves me unconditionally, but it didn't respond, so I have done dozens of entitiy clearing on it this morning, and now I feel like nauseous.

I think I will stick with the centre of the chest.

I'm on sick leave this week, without being so sick, and to much time on my hands generates too much thinking.

But I have been clearing out loads of karma the last days!


Ed

[Mari]

hahaa center of my breast... yes, center of my chest it's the place for me too

[Duu]

Well I think the symbolic meanig of the center of chest is that
of a middle point a poind of eqanimity, balance. From this point it is best to ask and recieve answers. But If I undrestand correctly your responses are not so clear in last few days. Actualy along whit the usual entity and karma jam. It is best to look for a shakti overload ie. energy overload that bounces once out of the body. Since that is realy not a good place to conect to heart, body wisidom.

There is therfore not much reson keeping an overload or racing too fast.
No matter what are the goals or expectation of others of us, conection to the body is primary. I sometimes forget it.
For me now the heart voice is as a certain dialogue or dance. Not as yes-no mechanical signal outpost. And every time I improove in the language. It sometimes seems to me that an answer it gives is a sort of door.

[Mystress]

Hello,
When I focus on the Physical Heart (a little bit to the left from the centre of chest) I experience a more clear warm feeling, from it, when getting a "yes" response.

is this right?

  It not right but if it works for you its OK. Be sure to test it well! Try a deck of cards, ask if the next card is red or black suit.

[edward]

Duu,

I think overload and racing too fast are the key words here.

The last couple of days, I have been looking for karma and entities in the body, and surrendering it (except for the entities, which I have asked my Guardian Angels to take care of).

Instead of doing as Mystress suggests, to work with one body part every day, e.g. big toe, I have instead raced through the whole body in every session. And I suspect that makes me feel spaced out and out of balance. Along with karmic feedback from looking at porn.

You know the feeling of your eyes hurting when you come back to the body after channeling Goddess? That is the feeling I have now, and have had for the last couple of days. And I'm on my second week of sick leave, because I didn't feel physically well to be working this week.

When it comes to relating to the heart voice as a mechanical yes-no output, I admitted for myself yesterday, that I've been avoiding to hear the heart voice as a voice, and instead just looked for yes/no response. I have been afraid for what answer it might have, and that comes down to that I maybe don't trust it, and if it's wrong, it might be an entity. But then again, I just have to clear it, and then it will be right. Yeah, my heart chakra gets warm to this last sentence

So, one of my biggest issues I feel, is my reluctance to hear the heart voice, and instead only choose to feel the response.

Ed

[edward]

I don't understand what is that is knocking me out.

I think I'm enjoying the after effects of not keeping my energy inwards, and initiating and engaging in ego drama, which is a very physical way of not keeping my energy inwards. Apparently I've had some saviour power game tendencies at work (and everywhere else also too). Sticking my nose into stuff that would be wiser to stay away from, with my projections and stuff.

Even watching TV seems to getting me bent out of shape. I cut out TV a while ago, but started watching it again. Now it seems to be draining energy again and making me dizzy.

I had to get up from bed, because I felt like going nuts. I know it will pass, but right now the only thing that seems to calm my mind down, is to sit in front of the computer, logged into this Temple.


Edward

[edward]

Doing squats with weights and weight lifting, along with yoga the last two days, seems to make me feel good again.

I notice that too much thinking, thinking and planning the future, brings this bad feeling again, with eyes that hurt. I think this may be Goddess way of disciplining me to be right here and now.

Some nights ago I had dream where I was very angry at my mother for abusing me sexually. Session with my shrink yesterday, the shrink defined many of my experiences with my mother as sexual abuse. I have not thought of it that way, and I now I understand why I'm so fucked up sexually. Also memory of how my father abused my mother in front of me, also came up yesterday, and I understand why I have PTSD tendencies today. Apparently there has also been abuse when I was a baby - no wonder, my mother was raped by her uncle when she was a kid.

So I understand now why I have been so out of balance the last days, added to the other stress I've been experiencing the last weeks. Lot's of karma coming up, to be released.

So being in the moment, not thinking too much, trusting Goddess has it handled, and regular physical exercise with yoga, is the key to ride out emotional baggage, and staying Grounded.

I don't fear now that Goddess will give me more than I can handle.

Edward

[Mystress]

  Dump energy overload!!

   Squat down, keeping your feet on the ground and also press your palms to the ground or floor and intend/request/imagine that the excess energy flows out your hands back to the earth. Do it for a few moments or until you feel better.

  Some folks want to take a shortcut with this, send the overload out their feet or just imagine touching the floor, doesnt work the same! Kundalini is an upward flow and by sending energy out your hands you maintain the upflow while still releasing excess.

  Symptoms of overload include a fuzzy brain, restlessness, scratchy feeling behind your eyeballs, sometimes a bit paranoid or getting wierd ideas or lethargy, lack of motivation. 

[edward]

Thank you. I feel wonderful now.

Yesterday I suspected that the hurting eyes was because I was having allergic reaction to the dog urine dissolution chemical I used on my sofa (even though my heart said no). So I hauled the sofa away to the loft, so that I can throw it away when spring comes. The sofa was getting old and ugly anyway, so I'm gonna buy a new and bigger one next week. And, I ordered the largest and most luxurious dog mattress available, filled with cedar tree material (!), so that I don't have to worry about my dog using the new sofa for sleeping and having urine leakage on it.



Edward

[edward]

Today I had to leave my work in the middle of the day, because I could not stop tears from emerging and start crying.

Three weeks ago I lost my little space where I usually have my desk at work, and I got placed in the middle of the room. Now people are walking both behind me and everywhere. And it's so stressing, because I feel like having my back watched by everyone, and I can feel to many people and their stress and tension also, as everyone is nervous because the bank has said that they will fire 2000 employees, to save money.

First I got sick for two weeks, but when I tried working again this week, I just got totally stressed out. I have headaches, my jaw is tensed and hurting, and scratchy feeling behind my eyes

So I asked my boss if he could something about getting me a space with more day light and less stress, because I am having most of the symptoms of workplace stress and tension, but he was not interested doing anything about it. (He lost his space also, his office, because the other employees complained to the HR department that he was not taking care of his duties and doing anything about the employees who are over-worked and stressed).

After the meeting I was not able to keep the tears from coming, so I just got home as fast as I could. Luckily my psychologist was available, so I talked with her why I am so hyper sensitive. So we agreed that I will go to the doctor tomorrow, and tell the doc to give me sick leave because of PTSD.

Suddenly I am becoming so very sensitive to stuff. One things is because of all this empathy/"enlightenment" thing, but the other are the PTSD reactions.

I was so emotional and ungrounded at work, that I was stupid enough to call a psychic / fortune teller, and suddenly we started talking about my dog, and then she told me to take him down.

Why would I take down a dog that is functioning mostly very good, except some incontinence? Then she told me that she took her own dog because of brain tumor, and then I thought that this is about her and her dog, not about me and my dog.

He is happy and healthy, running and playing, very active with the female dogs where I live, and seems to enjoy himself. Then only thing is that he has been diagnosed with brain tumor, but the doctors say hopefully he will die because of old age, and not that.

Right now I just feel like taking some time off, and take care of my self. Just doing yoga, walks with my dog, eating healthy, and then straighten myself together.

And I'm really working on keeping my energy inwards, focusing on the heart and power chalra, but still the monkey mind gets ungrounded and start thinking about other people and projecting, and then I get karmic feedback.

Now, I'm not complaining here or asking for Mystress or anyone here to help me. I know this will pass, and that itis  just too much stuff coming up. Even when I have emotional reactions or paranoid thoughts, I experience more and more that I am watching the monkey, and not taking it's victimhood seriously.

Edward