I did the exercises together again today, fell asleep, and when I woke up, the shakti had gone quite wild. It feels like my body has become a broadcasting instrument. It's as if the planet is being transmuted by the Light that is coming forth through my body. I have a very important question that comes up now. What can I do so that I do not awaken someone who doesn't want to be awakened?
When I read about your experiences of having your "boundaries violated", I just can't really understand it.
I have a book by Wayne Dyer called "Pulling your own strings", where he writes that it is almost impossible for you to be victimized unless you expect that it will happen. Its a good book.
The book also explains how to cure depression. He says "just keep your mind moving. I can't explain how easy it is to do it. As long as you are not victimizing anyone, just keep your mind moving. Evevn if you are victimizing someone, just drop it and keep your mind moving." Good book. Cool advice.
The above seems to be a sort of surrender. When I read this, it was a year before my Kundalini started rising and I couldn't do it. I could do it for a little while, but then I had to stop for some reason. Now its easier to do, now that I am more aware of my energy (my power chakra especially). N E ways, I sorta got off topic from the topic of the original message. But enjoy!
Scott
: I'm going through the Soul Retrieval process, and am much more in my body. It feels like I am being born. Many changes. Since I found that I can suddenly scan my body internally, I went on to the next 2 lessons. I have a question about Using the Grounding Technique to Clear Karma and Kegel Exercises Pump Up the Shakti. I did these last night and couldn't believe the difference. I had a black mass over my solar plexus that has tentacles that were messing with some of my organs. It is the cause of my karmic rape scenarios, which have been more and more frequent, with people deliberately stepping over my boundaries and committing some act that leaves me feeling violated. I was able to get rid of the thing by doing these techniques together, and it is changing everything. Such a feeling of freedom! It is a stubborn thing that I've had for a very long time, so I may have to keep working on it so it never comes back again.
: I did the exercises together again today, fell asleep, and when I woke up, the shakti had gone quite wild. It feels like my body has become a broadcasting instrument. It's as if the planet is being transmuted by the Light that is coming forth through my body. I have a very important question that comes up now. What can I do so that I do not awaken someone who doesn't want to be awakened?
: I did the exercises together again today, fell asleep, and when I woke up, the shakti had gone quite wild. It feels like my body has become a broadcasting instrument. It's as if the planet is being transmuted by the Light that is coming forth through my body. I have a very important question that comes up now. What can I do so that I do not awaken someone who doesn't want to be awakened?
Beautiful experience! I haven't come to the kegel exercises class yet, but I've practiced moolbandh for years, and since last year my body started performing it spontaneously. The sensation begins in the whole body, but seems to be rooted right at the perineum. It builds up and the body asks for that specific point to be contracted, and when I do contract it there's a wonderful, deep wash of energy all through my body, especially up the spine..
Sometimes it makes me wiggle like a snake.. Usually makes me laugh too. A couple of times it happened with other people around. When I suddenly uttered a quiet, hissing gasp and an undulating movement with my body.. That's one of those times when I usually clear my throat and change the subject, lol! It seems to work like a kriya! It often happens when I'm freezing, or very hot, or I'm overactive or underactive. These days it happens from time to time like part of everyday life.
And the question I would ask myself is.. Is it possible to become awakened if you are not ready for it, if you deep, deep inside haven't asked for it?
Namaste
Gustaf
Yes, I'm experiencing a significant expansion of consciousness, which is what I've been yearning for, and now finally, it's happening. So, I'm totally open to this, my death and new life are coming in all at once, and I'm not experiencing the fear anymore. That was related to my not being completely in my body, and the Soul Retrieval process that Mystress does as part of her healing service, brings the soul back into the body. I think the way that I've been expressing myself has caused you to feel ungrounded sometimes, and that was not my intention. A lot of what you were feeling was a reaction to my karmic pattern coming through my words. It was affecting everything. Sorry about that, Scott, and other members too.
: When I read about your experiences of having your "boundaries violated", I just can't really understand it.
: I have a book by Wayne Dyer called "Pulling your own strings", where he writes that it is almost impossible for you to be victimized unless you expect that it will happen. Its a good book.
Yes, one unconsciously fears, dreads, and expects for it to happen because there is a tension pattern in the body that causes a stuckness, a crystalization of those emotions and/or thoughts. That is what karma is. There is an initial experience/s of violation or some other trauma, but then instead of just going on with life and having different experiences that are untainted by the past,the person has some black globs of unreleased karma in his/her body, the globs crystalize over time into a tension pattern, and this creates or attracts situations in which the initial traumatic experience is replayed over and over again in different forms, often growing in intensity so the pattern will be fully recognized and released.
What is really a blessing is that we can ground ourselves, pump up the shakti, zap the sucker with Shakti in the form of violet Light laser beams or whatever until you can feel it breaking up and dissolving and moving up through the head. The "outer situations" that would mirror the karmic pattern are dissolved as well. Also, giving it up to Goddess and saying,"Please take this from me, Goddess, and everything connected to it. This is a present for you. Thank you very much." What initially helped me to understand some of this was an email that Mystress answered on Karma written by Vyana, posted on Dec 4. But the Soul Retrieval, Clearing Karma through the Grounding Exercise and Pumping Up the Shakti made it possible for me to zap the shit out of this thing. Mystress wrote about how you can address the karmic mass, especially the more persistent, really old crystalized ones, as entities.
: The book also explains how to cure depression. He says "just keep your mind moving. I can't explain how easy it is to do it. As long as you are not victimizing anyone, just keep your mind moving. Evevn if you are victimizing someone, just drop it and keep your mind moving." Good book. Cool advice.
: The above seems to be a sort of surrender. When I read this, it was a year before my Kundalini started rising and I couldn't do it. I could do it for a little while, but then I had to stop for some reason. Now its easier to do, now that I am more aware of my energy (my power chakra especially). N E ways, I sorta got off topic from the topic of the original message. But enjoy!
I was thinking that your method would drive me completely nuts, but then I realized that revelation is just like that. During revelation, one is constantly taking in completely new information (actually experiencing the uncovering of the most ancient, primordial knowledge that seems new for us) and layers and layers just keep on unfolding and you are in a state of constant and total fascination and awe. That experience is probably what Dyer's method is based on, and the state of consciousness that it is meant to induce. Very interesting!
My husband is experiencing sleep disturbances and metamorphosis dreams, and I've been concerned that he is becoming overly shaktified by my presence. He doesn't want to be K-awakened. I'm giving this to Goddess. Holding onto anything is a total nightmare. I can feel it right away in my body. Thank you, Scott.
: Beautiful experience! I haven't come to the kegel exercises class yet, but I've practiced moolbandh for years, and since last year my body started performing it spontaneously. The sensation begins in the whole body, but seems to be rooted right at the perineum. It builds up and the body asks for that specific point to be contracted, and when I do contract it there's a wonderful, deep wash of energy all through my body, especially up the spine..
The exercise that I used to do until it became a permanent part of my system is called the upstream kriya. It is based on moolbandh. I had so much difficulty with that asana because I'd experience mind blanks after about 25 minutes. I thought I must be the worst yogina. Since the Soul Retrieval, I can do it all I want with no problem. When I do the kegel exercise, the upstream kriya kicks in spontaneously. It is very nice.
: Sometimes it makes me wiggle like a snake.. Usually makes me laugh too. A couple of times it happened with other people around. When I suddenly uttered a quiet, hissing gasp and an undulating movement with my body.. That's one of those times when I usually clear my throat and change the subject, lol! It seems to work like a kriya! It often happens when I'm freezing, or very hot, or I'm overactive or underactive. These days it happens from time to time like part of everyday life.
Me too. I spiral and undulate like a snake when I offer up food. When I was trying to sell my old house, my realtor came over for tea one day, and before I served her, I spontaneously offered it up to Goddess, and you should have seen her face, lol! I didn't realize how strange I looked until I saw it in her eyes. She seemed to cherish her tea so much more because she knew it was really consecrated. :))
: And the question I would ask myself is.. Is it possible to become awakened if you are not ready for it, if you deep, deep inside haven't asked for it?
Thanks. :)
All the best,
Scott
: : The book also explains how to cure depression. He says "just keep your mind moving. I can't explain how easy it is to do it. As long as you are not victimizing anyone, just keep your mind moving. Evevn if you are victimizing someone, just drop it and keep your mind moving." Good book. Cool advice.
: : The above seems to be a sort of surrender. When I read this, it was a year before my Kundalini started rising and I couldn't do it. I could do it for a little while, but then I had to stop for some reason. Now its easier to do, now that I am more aware of my energy (my power chakra especially). N E ways, I sorta got off topic from the topic of the original message. But enjoy!
: I was thinking that your method would drive me completely nuts, but then I realized that revelation is just like that. During revelation, one is constantly taking in completely new information (actually experiencing the uncovering of the most ancient, primordial knowledge that seems new for us) and layers and layers just keep on unfolding and you are in a state of constant and total fascination and awe. That experience is probably what Dyer's method is based on, and the state of consciousness that it is meant to induce. Very interesting!
LOL! Now I realize how strange it must actually look, seeing the reflection of it when you are talking about it. There's definitely a sense of humour in the whole thing! :)
The answer to your first and last question is, turn inward. Keep most of your focus on how your heart and power chakra are responding to what Is, and give your love to your own heart, not to the illusion of external reality that is the world. This is a discipline of mindfulness that must become 24/7 for that power chakra issue to truly be gone forever.
When you are moved to change things, think "Goddess has it handled" and refrain from action. At first it will feel odd, but in time it gets clearer, because surrender is the strongest action, (infinite mind knows best and has all the power) and because genuine compassion is spontaneous. Ego doesn't get a vote. There is no karma from living your Dharma.
: I'm going through the Soul Retrieval process, and am much more in my body. It feels like I am being born. Many changes. Since I found that I can suddenly scan my body internally, I went on to the next 2 lessons. I have a question about Using the Grounding Technique to Clear Karma and Kegel Exercises Pump Up the Shakti. I did these last night and couldn't believe the difference. I had a black mass over my solar plexus that has tentacles that were messing with some of my organs. It is the cause of my karmic rape scenarios, which have been more and more frequent, with people deliberately stepping over my boundaries and committing some act that leaves me feeling violated. I was able to get rid of the thing by doing these techniques together, and it is changing everything. Such a feeling of freedom! It is a stubborn thing that I've had for a very long time, so I may have to keep working on it so it never comes back again.
: I did the exercises together again today, fell asleep, and when I woke up, the shakti had gone quite wild. It feels like my body has become a broadcasting instrument. It's as if the planet is being transmuted by the Light that is coming forth through my body.
Save the world, eh? Uplift the planet? You are really not clear on the concepts!
It is not that you have started broadcasting, but that you are now aware that you have been broadcasting energy, all along and it is the source of the abuse you experience, and the cause of the power chakra mess.
"I attract that which occurs." Victim and abuser are two sides of the same coin, they go together. You are still not willing to look in the mirror of your victimhood!
When you project energy, you violate other people. Your hero trip of transmuting the planet, is a violation of the planet and everyone on it. You are the rapist, not the victim.
The projection of energy -chi or Shakti or judgments- triggers karma in other people, and they retaliate by dumping the triggered karma back onto you in your "karmic rape scenarios." The violation starts, with you not respecting the boundaries of others, by broadcasting energy at them and and poking their karma. They are just responding.
The root of this type of behavior is insecurity. It can take many forms, from ego wanting to be a hero, to an inner part of you that feels you have to earn the right to be alive, be loved, have friends. All power chakra related.
I don't like repeating myself. All this information is in the hardest lessons of the whole course, which you seem to have skipped over. You have not integrated the "Magical ethics" lesson... or the ten lessons before it. Shadow, road of good intentions, etc. You have not connected with your true Divine Beloved, you are still not owning your shadow. Your ego protects itself by telling you that you already know all this stuff but your writing shows that you really don't get it, and your history shows it is the most important thing you need to get from this course. Go back, do them again, they are important for you. You have only been enrolled since Oct. 10, you are already on lesson 49? That is arrogance. At one per week you would be on lesson #16, at most.
The other students who are responding to this thread, all spent *months* on those 10 lessons, ("Additional forms of grounding", to "using the grounding to clear karma")and I can guess that half of your post resonated *wrongness* to their discernment, as loudly as it did for me... yet they have avoided commenting on it. Ask yourself why? Some very interesting links about passive aggression and its effects, at the bottom of those lessons. Makes people feel like they have to walk on eggshells around you.
I can spell your Shadow out to you, but I cannot make you love it.
Lynn wrote: The exercise that I used to do until it became a permanent part of my system is called the upstream kriya. It is based on moolbandh. I had so much difficulty with that asana because I'd experience mind blanks after about 25 minutes. I thought I must be the worst yogina. Since the Soul Retrieval, I can do it all I want with no problem. When I do the kegel exercise, the upstream kriya kicks in spontaneously. It is very nice.
Moolbandh, Kriya Yoga, upstream Kriya, Kegel-pump up the Shakti... They are all essentially the same thing. Different teachers focus on different aspects, but it is all about using the perineum to send a message inviting the Goddess to
"Come dancing! that's how they did it when I was just a kid.. and when they said 'come dancing' my sister (Goddess) always did!" (the Kinks...)
I'm not one for letting the ego get too prideful of what it knows, so I give things silly names, and just teach the bare essence, Kegel-Shakti and let Goddess show the effects, and do the rest! The mysteries unfold themselves, as you both have discovered. Kegel leads naturally to upstream kriya, but in a more grounded, body-centered way.
Whatever you call it, it IS very powerful and has been known to push the unprepared into psychosis. It can easily trigger more karma than the individual is able to release. That is why it comes late in the course, not until *after* a lot of grounding practice, learning to trust the Divine Beloved, and eroding ego by integrating the shadow.
Using it before you are completely ready to deal with the stuff it brings up, gives a bumpy ride. Yogananda believed that Kriya yoga is too dangerous to teach, unless the students has the support of a committed Guru-devotee relationship so they don't go crazy.
You both knew it already, before you signed up. That is OK... but you got the bumpy ride, too. Both of you, took a trip into psychosis relating to deeply embedded power chakra issues, that you are still working to untangle.
Interesting thread! Blessings...
: The answer to your first and last question is, turn inward. Keep most of your focus on how your heart and power chakra are responding to what Is, and give your love to your own heart, not to the illusion of external reality that is the world. This is a discipline of mindfulness that must become 24/7 for that power chakra issue to truly be gone forever.
OK. I see what I've been doing wrong.
:
: When you are moved to change things, think "Goddess has it handled" and refrain from action. At first it will feel odd, but in time it gets clearer, because surrender is the strongest action, (infinite mind knows best and has all the power) and because genuine compassion is spontaneous. Ego doesn't get a vote. There is no karma from living your Dharma.
I see that egoistic action should be avoided, but I have a problem with the inaction thing. I can sense my Dharma underneath the thoughts and feelings, and I need to be strong enough so I can live it always. My experience is that Goddess is pushing me into action in order to live that, by speaking the truth no matter what and not compromising, otherwise I get spanked like you wouldn't believe. So, the surrendering for me, has actually been to take action. To do what Goddess wants me to do rather than what other people want me to do. I would rather do things as you suggest, and not change things, but just go along and know that Goddess is handling it since I don't like to make waves with people, but Goddess isn't handling me that way. If this is some kind of hidden ego trip, I would love for it to unravel, because it is torture for me to have to stand up and act correctly in Goddess's eyes. It always feels really good afterwards, but the hard part is doing it because it goes completely against what the world would consider to be "correct" or "good".
:
: : I did the exercises together again today, fell asleep, and when I woke up, the shakti had gone quite wild. It feels like my body has become a broadcasting instrument. It's as if the planet is being transmuted by the Light that is coming forth through my body.
: Save the world, eh? Uplift the planet? You are really not clear on the concepts!
: It is not that you have started broadcasting, but that you are now aware that you have been broadcasting energy, all along and it is the source of the abuse you experience, and the cause of the power chakra mess.
: "I attract that which occurs." Victim and abuser are two sides of the same coin, they go together. You are still not willing to look in the mirror of your victimhood!
: When you project energy, you violate other people. Your hero trip of transmuting the planet, is a violation of the planet and everyone on it. You are the rapist, not the victim.
I wasn't projecting energy, it was coming though my body. It is a beautiful experience because my ego wasn't involved. It happened after the tension pattern, glob of karma and tentacles, was released.
I don't have a "save the world" trip going on. I do need to experience the truth for myself, though. I'm experiencing that the world is already transmuted into Light, and it is inside of me, and I'm a part of that.The shakti/chi that was coming through my physical body was not in violation because it was not manipulating anything. It was just a part of the Light circuitry that is already here and functioning fully. I didn't understand it at first.
: The projection of energy -chi or Shakti or judgments- triggers karma in other people, and they retaliate by dumping the triggered karma back onto you in your "karmic rape scenarios." The violation starts, with you not respecting the boundaries of others, by broadcasting energy at them and and poking their karma. They are just responding.
At Christmas, I felt forced to go to see my husband's family. For me, it was like coercion, but I finally surrendered to the pressure. I couldn't be myself. It was very uncomfortable. I am very grateful to my own family that they have let go, and I don't want to disrespect them, so I asked these people to respect my wishes and not take pictures of me. I don't have a preference for these people, I just haven't been able to break away from them yet. They not only took pictures of me, but also video. It may sound trivial, but it felt terrible. I was spanked a lot by Goddess because I can still be manipulated to go fit myself into someone's box even if it is only for a few hours. I don't know how to deal with this except to make the necessary changes inside, and I did release the tension pattern, and not give these people any of my energy.
: The root of this type of behavior is insecurity. It can take many forms, from ego wanting to be a hero, to an inner part of you that feels you have to earn the right to be alive, be loved, have friends. All power chakra related.
I know that I've experienced insecurity from fear that I'd end up being a street person if I do everything that Goddess tells me, but my faith is a lot stronger now. I need to live with integrity of action or else Goddess is not happy nor am I. In order to live that way, I've had to let a lot of people go because there was just no way to relate honestly anymore and continue. I need to live without hiding or feeling constricted about what I am, and so there is huge tension when it comes to compromising myself in order to allow the status quo to continue. I'm not allowed to do this. You probably wouldn't have any problem getting past this because you are a Dom, but for someone like me, it is very rough.
:
: I don't like repeating myself. All this information is in the hardest lessons of the whole course, which you seem to have skipped over. You have not integrated the "Magical ethics" lesson... or the ten lessons before it. Shadow, road of good intentions, etc. You have not connected with your true Divine Beloved, you are still not owning your shadow. Your ego protects itself by telling you that you already know all this stuff but your writing shows that you really don't get it, and your history shows it is the most important thing you need to get from this course. Go back, do them again, they are important for you. You have only been enrolled since Oct. 10, you are already on lesson 49? That is arrogance. At one per week you would be on lesson #16, at most.
ok. you are right. I will go back. Sorry.
: The other students who are responding to this thread, all spent *months* on those 10 lessons, ("Additional forms of grounding", to "using the grounding to clear karma")and I can guess that half of your post resonated *wrongness* to their discernment, as loudly as it did for me... yet they have avoided commenting on it. Ask yourself why? Some very interesting links about passive aggression and its effects, at the bottom of those lessons. Makes people feel like they have to walk on eggshells around you.
I'll go back and review everything really slowly.
: I can spell your Shadow out to you, but I cannot make you love it.
I'll get there, Mystress, but its going to take some time. I have an extremely powerful shadow that has manifest as an androgynous being named Parry, and he's in my face right now. I can see that he has always been in me, but he has stayed in the shadows until now. He appeared to me in the mirror last month, when I was looking for an aspect of my inner guru, but then receded again shortly afterward so his presence wasn't so apparent. He has many angles, and I cannot look at him straight on or my mind breaks into pieces, and he will not leave. Actually, I call it a he, but there is no way that you can separate this being into one sex or the other. He is not predominantly either. It's very heavy. I was asking Christ to intervene for me, and outshine this thing, but the situation just becomes ridiculous because Christ is like a Sky Energy Being and Parry is the Earth energy. They have to merge in order for wholeness to come out of it. My Light body has changed since Parry surfaced, and is now more akin to an halucinogenic kind of light, more black lightish, than an angelic presence type of light field. I think that will change when I've integrated more of my shadow. I calmed way down, after talking with my husband who surprised me when he understood completely about the whole thing, and after many years with me, understands that I really need to surrender to this. I feel like I am dead and alive at the same time. There are blue Lights and I feel like I'm being watched from behind "the world". I know that I need to love my shadow, but it is taking every thought or belief that I have ever held dear, and relentlessly shining forth very powerfully, the opposite that holds that illusion into place. It pushes against everything that I've been, and undoes the very foundations of my existence.
: You both knew it already, before you signed up. That is OK... but you got the bumpy ride, too. Both of you, took a trip into psychosis relating to deeply embedded power chakra issues, that you are still working to untangle.
Uh huh! Not doing any of those things at the moment, except for when it happens spontaneously of course. Most of the time Shakti is pushing at things enough as it is!
Funny how you talk about about "untangling" things, if you read my Shadow emerging post. It's sure tangled, and it's big and ugly too! Or looks like it at least. Oh well, it's something I have to walk through. :)