The Tea Room

I thank Goddess for forcing me to come here and enroll in this school, which turns out to be like a banquet of the finest out-of-this-world food (All-You-Can-Eat) for one who has been starving to death. Thank you, Mystress, for the fire and earth initiations and everything. These were elements I desperately needed. Thank you, members, for your feedback.

At first when I was grounding, I felt like I'd taken some major tranquilizers, and I pretty much just sat around in a stupor. I still feel that way somewhat. Don't really know how I have gotten anything done. My husband would laugh because he would find me in the exact same position when he left for work as when he came home. Just to drag myself to take a shower took so much effort. Still does.

When I got to the Grounding In One Breath lesson, something changed, though. It felt like deep orgasmic energy scorched upward as I breathed in from the firey earthcore, and that experience has stayed. It is actually a major bliss experience to breathe inward, bliss through the spine, and then the energy that comes down is very refined and fills me up to the max, throbbing at the crown chakra and the root, extending beyond the physical.

It becomes extremely blissful to be, my body gets packed with oozing divine energy, but then what always happens is I get squeezed, and my entire being aches, and tears just continuously flow until I'm empty, and then the bliss comes in more.

I saw the beginning of the art movie called 'Baraka', and my consciousness shifted, and I felt myself all over the planet. I felt myself as the many selves and beings and then got scared because I'd lost my small self for a time, and didn't know how to be. I got small again in a way so I could function, but then I couldn't live with my ego self being the disgusting way that it is. Traits were magnified.

There was great focussing on the things that had to go, and it came from a part of myself that may be what Mystress calls a muse. Not sure. I hope I can get some clarification about this because it is quite schizophrenic.
A part of myself shows me things and makes things clear, and knows me really well. It is funny, highly creative, forces me to look at things that are painful, and keeps me involved in energetic psychic dialogue. I know it is me, but what is that?

lynn

Hi Lynn,

Personally I am going through a lot of that myself. I have found that the best way to deal with the "schizo" feeling is to end the behaviour. End the patterns of birth and rebirth which you are in. Surrender. I don't know if it is good advice across the board, but those words have certainly helped me out a bit.

Knowing what it is? I don't really know. The ultimate goal for me is to detatch from the phenomena, pain free in the body. So for now, for me, it is probably better that I do not know the origin of the phenomena. Sometimes I get insights, I think. But I don't know what to do with them any way and have to surrender.

All the best Lynn!

Scott

Scott

: There was great focussing on the things that had to go, and it came from a part of myself that may be what Mystress calls a muse. Not sure. I hope I can get some clarification about this because it is quite schizophrenic.
: A part of myself shows me things and makes things clear, and knows me really well. It is funny, highly creative, forces me to look at things that are painful, and keeps me involved in energetic psychic dialogue. I know it is me, but what is that?

: lynn

Scott,
When I read your email, I entered the state of consciousness called divine ignorance. Thank you very much! :)

: Hi Lynn,

: Personally I am going through a lot of that myself. I have found that the best way to deal with the "schizo" feeling is to end the behaviour. End the patterns of birth and rebirth which you are in. Surrender. I don't know if it is good advice across the board, but those words have certainly helped me out a bit.

: Knowing what it is? I don't really know. The ultimate goal for me is to detatch from the phenomena, pain free in the body. So for now, for me, it is probably better that I do not know the origin of the phenomena. Sometimes I get insights, I think. But I don't know what to do with them any way and have to surrender.

: All the best Lynn!

: Scott

Scott,
I didn't understand before about the aspect of myself with whom I have energetic psychic dialogue. I decided to sort of disengage, but it became activated and told me not to slip so far into the abstract just yet. It is a teacher of mine and it has things to show me. The name is Parry and I saw the androgynous being in the Mirror. It is dark and strong and beautiful. Reminds me very much of a pitch black, morion cluster that I have that goes beyond the laws of nature. This is an aspect of myself that I need to know and hopefully integrate.

: Hi Lynn,

: Personally I am going through a lot of that myself. I have found that the best way to deal with the "schizo" feeling is to end the behaviour. End the patterns of birth and rebirth which you are in. Surrender. I don't know if it is good advice across the board, but those words have certainly helped me out a bit.

: Knowing what it is? I don't really know. The ultimate goal for me is to detatch from the phenomena, pain free in the body. So for now, for me, it is probably better that I do not know the origin of the phenomena. Sometimes I get insights, I think. But I don't know what to do with them any way and have to surrender.

: All the best Lynn!

: Scott

: Scott

:
: : There was great focussing on the things that had to go, and it came from a part of myself that may be what Mystress calls a muse. Not sure. I hope I can get some clarification about this because it is quite schizophrenic.
: : A part of myself shows me things and makes things clear, and knows me really well. It is funny, highly creative, forces me to look at things that are painful, and keeps me involved in energetic psychic dialogue. I know it is me, but what is that?

: : lynn

Hahah I hope thats a good thing! It sounds like something I'd enter too!

All the best!!!

Scott

: When I read your email, I entered the state of consciousness called divine ignorance. Thank you very much! :)