In my life whenever I have had what seemed to be a realization or creative source of energy I burnt it out fast. This reminded me of the divide and conquer patriarch. Carrying this feeling of seperation for so long then so happy I chose to use my creativity like I was a 15 year old driving a new Corvette driving by all the bullies that made fun of me at school, making up for lost time. LOL. Its all good tho.
When I saw this pattern came up again I had to release it.
But I also firmly realized, that expansion of consciousness IS (with a capital IS) feminine. I did a wrap around and saw plainly that an outrageous patriarchal way of dealing with myself is frigging hard. Why not focus on the matriarch then? Life os so pummeling, so ridiculous. I had a day of work today and I am beat. In my off time my mind is saying "you have so much work to do" but I know I have to take it ez and chill. I will fail by burning out.
I also asked, how am I supposed to live without the old "ger 'er done" attitude. I felt that this attitude did not have to dissappear, but that it just wasn't at the forefront. At the forefront, bigger than all of this and my ideas was an unconditionally loving Goddess that is even beyond than anything that I can write. In my human mind, the reflection of this being is female.
My human ideas of a Female Goddess seems like it would apply to life situations.
The masculine element being supported and surrounded by a pool of femininity. Like the void, where the sperm of Shiva is surrounded by a sea of black (I think this definition of the void is right).
Scott
Scott