I have recently discovered that my mind was crawling with fear. I dunno how, but before I sort of was able to surrender and forget about it but now like I have realized how much it has impacted my life and how big it is.
Almost as if all of my thoughts were fear. This is a scary statement, because what I focus on grows, and everything is fear.
When I was 16 I worked in a convinience store and one of the first things they taught me was that when you mop you have to clean out the mop bucket each time or else it will stink up the store. And you won't realize that the store stinks cuz you are working in the smell.
I could have left out this little analogy, but I thought it would be kind of witty for a post that was pretty gloomy otherwise.
This is kind of like my little world of fear. It grew and grew and grew and it had a life of its own.
Kind of comforting now that I can see it. The adrenaline has stopped it seems.
Every impulse out of the now is fear. Every thought and impulse is fear.
These thoughts and feeling are so huge. Maybe its not really as bad as I make it out to be, and now I am just sort of feeling the shock of this realization. It seems it is the only rational thing, and Love is irrational. Crazy!
Maybe I am just in shock over this realization and it is not realy that big of a deal.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Scott
Taoists have the idea that fear is the opposite emotion of gentleness.
I have felt a fair amount of fear in me over the years and have found that cultivating gentleness within and without has a dissolving effect on the fear.
Peace and smiles
: Hello,
: I have recently discovered that my mind was crawling with fear. I dunno how, but before I sort of was able to surrender and forget about it but now like I have realized how much it has impacted my life and how big it is.
: Almost as if all of my thoughts were fear. This is a scary statement, because what I focus on grows, and everything is fear.
: When I was 16 I worked in a convinience store and one of the first things they taught me was that when you mop you have to clean out the mop bucket each time or else it will stink up the store. And you won't realize that the store stinks cuz you are working in the smell.
: I could have left out this little analogy, but I thought it would be kind of witty for a post that was pretty gloomy otherwise.
: This is kind of like my little world of fear. It grew and grew and grew and it had a life of its own.
: Kind of comforting now that I can see it. The adrenaline has stopped it seems.
: Every impulse out of the now is fear. Every thought and impulse is fear.
: These thoughts and feeling are so huge. Maybe its not really as bad as I make it out to be, and now I am just sort of feeling the shock of this realization. It seems it is the only rational thing, and Love is irrational. Crazy!
: Maybe I am just in shock over this realization and it is not realy that big of a deal.
: Any advice would be appreciated.
: Scott