The Tea Room

Hello,

Over the past few months I have over came a lot of fear.

There is this essence of our pure mortality that I cannot escape. It is the possibility of what Might occur which drives to action which represents fear. I recognize this as a shadow.

As I feel better and more comfortable this shadow seems to grow.

For every choice I make, behind it lies a choice which I chose not to make, which is evidence of some deeper fear.

This seems to be directly related to just the way that I think. My body's alignment. My thought process.

As the power chakra opens I have become increasingly aware of something which I refer to as the merkaba. I have sort of been experiencing a phase over the past few months where I can't tell if I am fiddling in some other persons or entity's reality or just old karma being released.

I don't know if I have grown really skillfull in avoiding these energies or entities or old patterns or if I am just repressing or avoiding something. This seems to be the nature of my power chakra game.

Any insights?

Blessings,
Scott

Not so much of insights, probably, but I am grateful that you brought it up. When I was 12 years old I was confronted with the reality of death, as a close relative passed away. It almost scared me to death and I was very frightened for several years. My kundalini awakening when I was 12 or 13 and releasing a lot of strong feelings which I did not understand where they came from did not make it any easier. When I was 15 I started to meditate (TM) and eventually learned how to use the meditation to get relaxed and cool down when I was frightened. Afterwards I have rarely thought of that fear for about 30 years. But when I read you post the memory came up and soon there was intense heat in my whole body. I realized the tummo fire had been working on this fear while I was kind of anaesthetized from it and that I was ready to let go of it and relax. This feels really fine.

In latter years, fear to me has been my brain working overtime taking me out of the now. In the now, there are no overwhelming fears or other bad feelings. But when I leave the now and let my brain work out possible scenarios, I can get frightened from what I se, in spite of the fact that it is not real. So, staying in the now is a way to avoid fear.

I have also just recently been aware of the fact that when I feel bad, it seems that I am most often picking up other peoples%rsquo feelings. I suspect it has been like that my whole life or at least since my early teens. During some periods I have often had strong bad feelings together with groups of other people. I thought the feelings were my own, but did not understand where they came from. A few weeks ago I was discussing with some people how we felt and how we had felt on some earlier occasions. Then I realized I had had the same feelings without any reason I could understand, which they had had for a reason. So I was convinced I had been picking up their feelings, including fears.