Thank you very much for the whole thread on surrender. I resonated with many things each of you said.
I haven't been in the Tea Room for over ten days and I was pleased to read you. I was stuck in many ego issues. Actually, coming to the Tea Room was in itself an act of surrender. I am feeling better now.
I have been making a difference between "passive surrender" and "active surrender", though I expect Mystress to tell me that there is no such difference but for the ego. Of course she'd be right ;-).
"Passive surrender" is for me when I surrender my anger, my guilt or such negative feelings. I just give them up for Goddess to deal with. I don't need to do anything with it. I can do that lying on the bed.
Over the last year or two, I have done a good job with anger. I am much more peaceful now and my wife appreciates the difference! I find many an occasions where I would have been angry before. If I do get angry, it is not so strong and subsides much quicker. Now, most of the time, I don't feel like getting angry. That game has no appeal to me anymore. I just let is pass. No resistance.
Over the last two years, I have made a lot of progress with my guilt too. I felt guilty about the way I am, compared to the way I thought I was supposed to be. I felt guilty about my numerous weaknesses. About my laziness, about my lust and sexual tendencies....
Sex is a point in case. How a catholic-raised grown-up man, who has a tendency to masturbate daily, is supposed to feel? (right now, I am surrendering my feelings of shame to speak openly of such things in front of my classmates, who, I believe, are mostly female :-( .) It was such a delight to learn from the Gnostic Movement that sexual energy can be used for divine purposes. But then I got stuck with my failure to overcome my habit. Visions of hell and eternal damnation became very real for me. In order to overcome that, I had to systematically surrender first my fears then my guilt (which is a milder form of fear) about my sexual practices. I learned to accept myself the way I am. I realized it was the only way to grow sexually.
So when last spring Mystress told me to stop watching pornography over the net, I purposefully disregarded her advice. I was afraid to fall back into the trap of thinking "I HAVE TO stop doing this, because Mystress, whom I regard very highly and who is a model of spiritual development for me, told me I SHOULDN'T do it. If I CAN'T control myself, then it means that I am SPIRITUALLY STUCK." So I happily masturbated my summer away.
After all, if Mystress can justify her smoking habit and still evolve spiritually, then why can't I masturbate my way to enlightenment?
That in itself proves that I had still more fear to surrender, another layer of the onion to peal away. Now, I no longer fear to fall back in my past guilt-ridden way of thinking. I realize in which way my sexual activity actually doesn't rise from a sexual need, but as an attempt to avoid facing some issues, a way to escape from myself (which of course doesn't work).
Anyone who has tried to quit smoking knows how difficult to overcome an habit / addiction. I don't smoke. Now I am at the stage when I observe what goes on in my mind, in my body, in my life when I have sexual urges. What are my sexual fantasies and what do they represent. I experiment with withholding the semen. I try to surrender into not masturbating. It is a practice for me, just like doing the grounding is.
On the K-list, Wim asked how today's teenagers cope with masturbation. Susan replied that thirteen year old Americans are guilt free and happily play with themselves or together. I am glad to report that I have at last reached the sexual maturity of a thirteen year old American boy. :-). I could tell you that I am thirty, but replace the "Y" by a "Een" and you'd be closer to the truth. I have not got yet as far as the letter Y in the sexual alphabet. (Hmmm that makes me wonder... after E, comes F... what sexual lessons come under that letter?)
"Active surrender" is what has been described as surrendering into action. Mystress's examples of surrendering into making bread and harvesting nuts come in this category. I have been having much more troubles with this. I passively surrendered a lot of guilt about "being lazy", about "not working as hard as I should", "not earning as much money as expected by society" (I make quite a good living and we are certainly not facing any kind of financial hardship, but it is not enough for me to maintain the social status that my wife wants me to have... she's lying to her parents about my level of income :-( ).
In the process, it seems that I have lost motivation for getting my ass off the bed or out of the house. There are many worthy things I'd like to do, but I can't seem to manage to get them done. (and that's what my wife is really blaming me for... I am sure many of you will understand her feelings).
I have a lot to learn in terms of surrendering into action. Any help with that would be welcome.
Thanks to you all,
Love,
Augustin.
As an aside to the other students: Augustin is a newbie to this course, but he has spent some time in chat with me learning stuff that comes later in the course.
The reason I don't explain the active aspects of surrender sooner, is because you need to spend time clearing yourself with passive surrender in order to get intuitive discernment about what action is wanted. What is ego and what is Divine Will. Practice in kicking out entities and staying grounded when wrestling with stuff.
Otherwise I might get people going postal and saying Goddess made 'em do it.. :) Know what I mean?
: Over the last year or two, I have done a good job with anger. I am much more peaceful now and my wife appreciates the difference! I find many an occasions where I would have been angry before. If I do get angry, it is not so strong and subsides much quicker. Now, most of the time, I don't feel like getting angry. That game has no appeal to me anymore. I just let is pass. No resistance.
I'm glad!
: So when last spring Mystress told me to stop watching pornography over the net, I purposefully disregarded her advice. I was afraid to fall back into the trap of thinking "I HAVE TO stop doing this, because Mystress, whom I regard very highly and who is a model of spiritual development for me, told me I SHOULDN'T do it. If I CAN'T control myself, then it means that I am SPIRITUALLY STUCK." So I happily masturbated my summer away.>>>
Acts of love and pleasure serve..:)
I want you to examine the terms you use. I know english is your second language, but you seem to have an excellent grasp of it. I told you to stop. You translated "stop" to "should not".. watch for where that word "should" comes up for you, it is a word the ego uses to make guilt.
I suggested you stop, you decided not to stop.. what idea is this to feel guilty for that? I'll misquote Yoda: Do or do not, there is no "should".
: After all, if Mystress can justify her smoking habit and still evolve spiritually, then why can't I masturbate my way to enlightenment? >>>
ROTFLOL!!! :) If you like..
: I realize in which way my sexual activity actually doesn't rise from a sexual need, but as an attempt to avoid facing some issues, a way to escape from myself (which of course doesn't work). >>>
Good that you found that out for yourself. Yes. Escapist external fantasy stimulation is not internal fulfillment of yearnings.
: In the process, it seems that I have lost motivation for getting my ass off the bed or out of the house. There are many worthy things I'd like to do, but I can't seem to manage to get them done. (and that's what my wife is really blaming me for... I am sure many of you will understand her feelings).
: I have a lot to learn in terms of surrendering into action. Any help with that would be welcome.
Some people passively surrender a lot of stuff, but they don't remember to give the spaces where the stuff used to be, up to Goddess, so She can fill them up with Her light and Grace.
Find your passion, Augustin. Follow your bliss. When you find out what your bliss is, you will be motivated.
Blessings..
: Thank you very much for the whole thread on surrender. I resonated with many things
each of you said.
: I am feeling better now.
Nice to hear from you again. Glad you%rsquore feeling better - we could be on the same wave -
i%rsquom kinda crawling out of a wrestling match with my ego as well. (probably just round
200 out of infinity though) :-)
: "Passive surrender" is for me when I surrender my anger, my guilt or such negative
feelings. I just give them up for Goddess to deal with. I don't need to do anything with it.
I can do that lying on the bed.
I%rsquom pretty successful at surrendering feelings also - i used to think i needed to know what
issue created them, and am still curious, but i%rsquom glad to be able to release in this manner
even if i don%rsquot know why they%rsquore there.
: Over the last year or two, I have done a good job with anger. I am much more peaceful
now and my wife appreciates the difference! I find many an occasions where I would
have been angry before. If I do get angry, it is not so strong and subsides much quicker.
Now, most of the time, I don't feel like getting angry. That game has no appeal to me
anymore. I just let is pass. No resistance.
Oh i am envious of this!!! I have had so much anger in this past year. So overwhelming
that expressing it just exhausts me - doesn%rsquot offer any consolation or peace. I%rsquove been
very judgemental about situations that have been outside of my control though. I%rsquove had
a chance in these past two weeks to step outside of that, and can finally see things beyond
the ego. Not so mad about everything any more. (I thank you Goddess for these
insights!!!!)
: Over the last two years, I have made a lot of progress with my guilt too. I felt guilty
about the way I am, compared to the way I thought I was supposed to be. I felt guilty
about my numerous weaknesses. About my laziness, about my lust and sexual
tendencies....
(right now, I am surrendering my feelings of shame to speak openly of such things in
front of my classmates, who, I believe, are mostly female :-( .)
I'm thankful for the opportunity to be an ear in your safe haven.
I feel guilt when i realize i%rsquove done something that causes someone else grief or
confusion or pain, but usually it boils down to a communication problem, so it seems
easier to give this stuff to Goddess. I never thought i%rsquod live past the age of 25. Boy was i
lost when it came and went!!! 8-( But i kept to the yuppie status quo - was making a
salary that was equal to or more than my age in 1000%rsquos. Someone else%rsquos dream. I think i
started having problems with k around the age of 28: major dizzy spells with no apparent
cause, then one that literally brought me to the ground with a funnel of white light
coming into (or going out, i don%rsquot remember) of my forehead. I remember thinking - %lsquoi;m
either dying or i%rsquom having a religious experience.%rsquo When i reached your age i had twins
and everything changed in a way i could hear/see/feel more readily - it was Goddess
giving me another %lsquotime-out%rsquo to find myself again. I was dead and buried, just not
physically. Now that i%rsquom pushing 40, i%rsquom happy to tell you that it gets harder for the ego
to cause guilt feelings. At least in my case. It%rsquos much easier to let ppl feel what they
want to feel w/o me having to. (Including those klingon relatives) I still feel other ppls
moods and sometimes take them w/out knowing why or how - really feel used in cases
like this - but most folks don%rsquot realize they%rsquove done it, so it just reflects back to me and
why i let it happen.
: I have a lot to learn in terms of surrendering into action. Any help with that would be
welcome.
%ldquoJust Do It%rdquo
I might take a 10 day break from the course. I haven%rsquot successfully grounded in such a
long time - just going thru the motions. My feet feel the tingles but i don%rsquot feel the
unconditional love that comes with what i would call successfully grounding. I just get
so distracted every time....maybe i%rsquom too attached to Mystress%rsquo attention, or the outcome
of this course. I don%rsquot know, but i don%rsquot feel like it%rsquos integrating the way i%rsquod like it to be.
Good luck and many blessings.
Peace,
carla
Yes to you all. The one thing I find useful about Wicca, is the wheel of the year. It is a good measurement of how the sine wave of the Serpent.. the earth energy flows. Like a biorhythm.
Right now we are coming up to the Winter solstice, Dec. 21 and I felt the energy for it rise early this year. I have been wrestling with some stuff too! LOL~!!
K. energy tends to move with the Earth, and awakened people do too. When the Earth energy rises, it pushes on your Karma and you will find yourself facing some issues. When the energy peaks, there is often a breakthru or some kind of peak experience, then as the peak subsides you implement the new insight into your daily choices. Usually then there is a lull, a good time to get mundane things done before it begins to rise again with the next peak.
One reason I recommend horoscopes is that they too offer some insights into the flow.
Solstice is Yule, the longest night of winter. The mythology is about the death of the dark and the return of the sun. This is often represented as the birth of the Sun god, also represented as Baby New Year.
So, the Fall is a death-season, From Hallow'een to Yule. Symbols of death are also, always symbols of rebirth. What this means is that this fall you may have found yourself putting a lot of stuff to rest. Surrendering the unworkable and clearing out closets, physical and mental. Instinctively preparing a place for the new birth around Yule.
: Oh i am envious of this!!! I have had so much anger in this past year. <...> I%rsquove had
: a chance in these past two weeks to step outside of that, and can finally see things beyond
: the ego. Not so mad about everything any more. (I thank you Goddess for these
: insights!!!!)
: : Over the last two years, I have made a lot of progress with my guilt too. I felt guilty
: about the way I am, compared to the way I thought I was supposed to be. I felt guilty
: about my numerous weaknesses. About my laziness, about my lust and sexual
: tendencies....
: (right now, I am surrendering my feelings of shame to speak openly of such things in
: front of my classmates, who, I believe, are mostly female :-( .)
: I'm thankful for the opportunity to be an ear in your safe haven.
I'm glad you feel safe to speak. :)
:I think i
: started having problems with k around the age of 28: major dizzy spells with no apparent
: cause, then one that literally brought me to the ground with a funnel of white light
: coming into (or going out, i don%rsquot remember) of my forehead. I remember thinking - %lsquoi;m
: either dying or i%rsquom having a religious experience.%rsquo
LOL!! Beautiful!
>:I still feel other ppls
: moods and sometimes take them w/out knowing why or how - really feel used in cases
: like this - but most folks don%rsquot realize they%rsquove done it, so it just reflects back to me and
: why i let it happen.
That is very wise. These too, you can give up to Goddess. To do that for other people is Karma Yoga, and it is an act of compassion. What you put out comes back multiplied. What you are doing with it, is perfect.
: : I have a lot to learn in terms of surrendering into action. Any help with that would be
: welcome.
: %ldquoJust Do It%rdquo
:) Well put!
: I might take a 10 day break from the course. I haven%rsquot successfully grounded in such a
: long time - just going thru the motions. My feet feel the tingles but i don%rsquot feel the
: unconditional love that comes with what i would call successfully grounding.
You are judging yourself.. measuring yourself against a nonexistent standard. If your feet are tingling, then you are grounded. This is the basic state of groundednesss to do life from. Don't get attached to the bliss, because then your expectations of it can get in the way of recieving.
I suspect the energy feels flat because it is gone underground evolving you. Sometimes when I am going thru high energy phases like solstice, the energy may feel kind of flat because I'm mercifully anaestitised to maintain balance. K-fire doing it's work is not always comfortable..
I'm not sure if I'm being clear.. you surrendered "needing to know" about feelings, and that practice empowered your Divine Beloved to clear a lot more stuff without your needing to feel it at all. So, it is doing major surgery and you do not feel the bliss because you don't have to feel the karma unkinking as the bliss is funneled straight into evolving you.
: I just get
: so distracted every time....maybe i%rsquom too attached to Mystress%rsquo attention, or the outcome
: of this course. I don%rsquot know, but i don%rsquot feel like it%rsquos integrating the way i%rsquod like it to be.
I am flattered that you enjoy my attention. Where my attention goes, my energy goes so... I am told that the laser eyes of my gaze can be addictive. :) I like to students to learn to feed themselves, so to speak.. to become soverign in their need for Shakti. To get there, it is easier with occasional Skati-zaps.
I wonder, how would you like it to be integrating differently?
Take a break, if you feel you need to, but consider if the desire for distance comes of ego resistance.
: Good luck and many blessings.
: Peace,
: carla
Blessings to you!
Hmmm...
"After surrender comes the insight. Following the insight is an act of surrender".
That is well worth typing again.
A lot to observe, investigate and practice here.
Thank you Mystress.
| : The reason I don't explain the active aspects of surrender sooner, is
| because you need to spend time clearing yourself with passive surrender in
| order to get intuitive discernment about what action is wanted. What is ego
| and what is Divine Will. Practice in kicking out entities and staying
| grounded when wrestling with stuff.
|
| : Otherwise I might get people going postal and saying Goddess made 'em do
| it.. :) Know what I mean?
I can think of some examples.... ;-)
| : : So when last spring Mystress told me to stop watching pornography over
| the net, I purposefully disregarded her advice. I was afraid to fall back
| into the trap of thinking "I HAVE TO stop doing this, because Mystress, whom
| I regard very highly and who is a model of spiritual development for me,
| told me I SHOULDN'T do it. If I CAN'T control myself, then it means that I
| am SPIRITUALLY STUCK." So I happily masturbated my summer away.>>>
| :
| : Acts of love and pleasure serve..:)
| : I want you to examine the terms you use. I know English is your second
| language, but you seem to have an excellent grasp of it. I told you to stop.
| You translated "stop" to "should not".. watch for where that word "should"
| comes up for you, it is a word the ego uses to make guilt.
Yes, what I wrote in CAPS is what I clearly identified as being ego talk.
I can start to perceive why and how my ego change everything (including all spiritual practices) into SHOULDs.
| : I suggested you stop, you decided not to stop.. what idea is this to feel
| guilty for that? I'll misquote Yoda: Do or do not, there is no "should".
The fact is that I wish to change, to evolve. My sexuality is changing too. Some aspects of it have no appeal to me anymore, and I wish to explore more fully some other aspects... Now that I have dealt with a lot of negative feeling associated with sex, I feel ready to move on...
| : : After all, if Mystress can justify her smoking habit and still evolve
| spiritually, then why can't I masturbate my way to enlightenment? >>>
|
| : ROTFLOL!!! :) If you like..
:-)
| : : I have a lot to learn in terms of surrendering into action. Any help
| with that would be welcome.
|
| : Some people passively surrender a lot of stuff, but they don't remember
| to give the spaces where the stuff used to be, up to Goddess, so She can
| fill them up with Her light and Grace.
| : Find your passion, Augustin. Follow your bliss. When you find out what
| your bliss is, you will be motivated.
| : Blessings..
I already have an idea of what makes me feel good. I am learning not to resist from doing it.
All the answers so far gave me a lot to think about, a lot to do, to observe and to practice.
Thanks to you all.
Your Asian Love,
Augustin.
: : Over the last year or two, I have done a good job with anger. I am much more peaceful
: now and my wife appreciates the difference! I find many an occasions where I would
: have been angry before. If I do get angry, it is not so strong and subsides much quicker.
: Now, most of the time, I don't feel like getting angry. That game has no appeal to me
: anymore. I just let is pass. No resistance.
: Oh i am envious of this!!!
Don't be :-) !
I make it sound better than it really is.
The situation is certainly much much better than it was, but there's still some way to go...
: I have had so much anger in this past year. So overwhelming
: that expressing it just exhausts me - doesn%rsquot offer any consolation or peace. I%rsquove been
: very judgemental about situations that have been outside of my control though. I%rsquove had
: a chance in these past two weeks to step outside of that, and can finally see things beyond
: the ego. Not so mad about everything any more. (I thank you Goddess for these
: insights!!!!)
We are treading the same path...
:: (right now, I am surrendering my feelings of shame to speak openly of such things in
:: front of my classmates, who, I believe, are mostly female :-( .)
: I'm thankful for the opportunity to be an ear in your safe haven.
I am particularly grateful for this.
:-D
Thank you Carla.
:maybe i'm too attached to Mystress%rsquo attention, or the outcome of this course.
Aren't we all?
It's enough for me to receive an encouraging note from Mystress and I'm all smiles for the whole day.
;-)
Love Augustin.
How curious!
In my original post, I wrote "big grin" in brakets like the ones used in HTML , but those two words did not appear, instead the rest of the post appeared in bold...
: We are treading the same path...
My anger this year is much less than it was for the past 4-5 years. I went thru a very tough period, and there were a lot of people in my life that were easy focuses for my anger. One of them, my father, died, and tho I loved him enormously, he was in such intense psychic pain in his last years that he made every one around him miserable. I lived 1500 mile aways, but my Mom called me constantly upset. So it was a real relief for him to die and move on.
But even before that, when I first went into therapy about 14 years ago, I had no notion that I was an angry person. I had this dream where I was at the typesetting machine, and suddenly I realized there was an evil entitiy in there out to get me. I got up and ran for the door feeling the amorphous being coming out of the machine and chasing after me.
When I hit the door, I started flying to get away from the vicious being, and as I was rising into the air, I turned to look at the thing, and it spit out a wicked huge flame at me that was so intense and scary, I broke awake in total fear, and I was coming to consciousness, I realized that that being was my own anger out to kill me.
That scared the hell out of me, that something so intense could be inside me, eating at me. You see, I had recently told my new therapist that I was definitely not an angry person. So this dream was my higher self saying, "Er, excuse me, I think maybe yr mistaken, dearie."
After that dream, I went on a 3 day "pink cloud" where I was totally at one with the world. Every leaf, every child seemed precious. I would see commercials for Pampers and weep. I would marvel at the trees blossoming. I felt connected to every person on the street, and knew were were all one.
Then I was back to my old self, still angry, but at least aware of the anger.
That was when I first started dealing with anger. But when my Dad died anger relief went to an entirely different level.
When that happened, I realized there were a couple of other people in my life who really didn't treat me well. So I ended the relationships, rather than be angry all the time.
I also started paying more attention to what I needed in this life, the kind of support and nourishment I need to have a reasonably happy life (one of which is pursuing spirituality, like this course). I'm learning to have a new relationship to myself, to really be more understanding of what I need. Damn. Some days it works so great. Other days, I'm on the big dipper to hell's nightmare chambers of self flagellation and thinking, "How'd I get here again?"
But what Mystress said in a different post, the dark cycles last shorter and shorter periods. I'm more resiliant, and the anger in me is not as intenese. The volume is turned way down, and I don't walk around with fiery dialogues with the current focus of my anger going on all the time.
That's one reason I like to do the grounding riding in the subway, on buses, walking down the street standing in the bank line. These are all the places where the anger dialogues can descend without warning and eat my sweet mind. Doing the grounding really melts them away.
I've done the clearing entities exercise Mystress gives us in the Entities lesson, and think of my anger as one of the entities, but before I clear them, I stare them in the face and acknowledge what they're about. Don't want to repress my anger, so I have to acknowledge it. But I've been using the entity clearing to then send move the anger out of me.
Seems to be working. Also, found a good laxative. Maybe that helps too.
Barg
: How curious!
: In my original post, I wrote "big grin" in brakets like the ones used in HTML , but those two words did not appear, instead the rest of the post appeared in bold...
The BB is set up to allow
like this
fun, eh?
Blessings..
Well, if it is any consolation, I've been dealing with a lot of anger these past few weeks.. getting fury about old wounds I thought were long since healed.. guess not! It seems tho, not to be coming from within myself, so much.. most of the issues that are annoying me are old family dysfunctions (I grew up in a very dysfunctional family!) and it feels like I'm processing the reflection of my stuff that is held by my family.
It's hard, but I'm actually glad the stuff is coming up.. better it gets released and healed than continue to fester.
: :: (right now, I am surrendering my feelings of shame to speak openly of such things in
: :: front of my classmates, who, I believe, are mostly female :-( .)
Actually, the gender split is pretty equal.. but of the 14 paying students, there are males who don't post here much... or at all!
I wish they did!
I'm glad you feel free to share openly Augustin.
: :maybe i'm too attached to Mystress%rsquo attention, or the outcome of this course.
: Aren't we all?
: It's enough for me to receive an encouraging note from Mystress and I'm all smiles for the whole day.
: ;-)
awwwwww.. you both make me blush..:)
I go back and forth with this, myself.. sometimes it is hard for me to have so many people wanting my attention. Energy is infinite but sometimes it seems there is only so much of me to go around..only so many hours in a day. As it is, I spend almost all day every day at my desk.. I really need to get out more! LOL!!
I've spent much of the last 3 days trying to get a *&$%#@$&&$#!!! cgi script to work, to offer free postcards to promote the course. FST has been open since August, and only 14 registrations so far..? I thought it would be more popular than that.. but I trust Goddess has it handled. momentum is building..
I'm very glad you all are here!! :)
: Love Augustin.
Blessings...
: Solstice is Yule, the longest night of winter. The mythology is about the death of the dark and the return of the sun. This is often represented as the birth of the Sun god, also represented as Baby New Year.
: So, the Fall is a death-season, From Hallow'een to Yule. Symbols of death are also, always symbols of rebirth. What this means is that this fall you may have found yourself putting a lot of stuff to rest. Surrendering the unworkable and clearing out closets, physical and mental. Instinctively preparing a place for the new birth around Yule.
I had a dream....there was a party outside of this house i had just bought. The previous owner had died and left his work there - pottery of some sort, and i remember looking at it and thinking about doing something with it myself. Then there were several scenes of dead ppl doing the same things over and over in this house: a woman going up the stairs, a couple coming into the house from the side door and going somewhere in the back, a girl going past me and asking if the bath was ready, i said 'what?' and she said 'nevermind' and went on her way. Before i saw this last girl i thought to send them all into the light, but when she came up to me i didn't think of it until she had already gone.
It was very lucid and i was disturbed for quite awhile after waking up.
: To do that for other people is Karma Yoga, and it is an act of compassion. What you put out comes back multiplied.
cool! :)
: I am told that the laser eyes of my gaze can be addictive. :)
This is true..... :)
: I like to students to learn to feed themselves, so to speak.. to become soverign in their need for Shakti. To get there, it is easier with occasional Skati-zaps.
Thank you! :)
: I wonder, how would you like it to be integrating differently?
My first response to this was 'i want to feel it in my veins!!!' and i like the heat in my back. I also want more to happen consciously. So much happens when i'm 'asleep' or in hindsight.
: Take a break, if you feel you need to, but consider if the desire for distance comes of ego resistance.
I've taken a break - from lots of things, not just this course. I've gotten really busy lately....will be glad when the holidays are over.
Peace,
carla
Hi Carla!
: I had a dream....there was a party outside of this house i had just bought. The previous owner had died and left his work there - pottery of some sort, and i remember looking at it and thinking about doing something with it myself. Then there were several scenes of dead ppl doing the same things over and over in this house:
A house, in dreams is most often a metaphor for the body.. You can still send the ghosts into the light, call on them with your intentions and they will come.
I think the man and the pottery is likely a metaphor for the creative power of your Divine Beloved.. which is your divine inheritance. Give the pottery up to Goddess so it can come back, better.
: : To do that for other people is Karma Yoga, and it is an act of compassion. What you put out comes back multiplied.
: cool! :)
I'd really prefer you just use surrender to clear yourself, for now.. when your own energy body is clearer it will be safe for you to do healing consciously.. for now, focus on your own growth.
: : I am told that the laser eyes of my gaze can be addictive. :)
: This is true..... :)
: : I like to students to learn to feed themselves, so to speak.. to become soverign in their need for Shakti. To get there, it is easier with occasional Skati-zaps.
: Thank you! :)
:)
: : I wonder, how would you like it to be integrating differently?
: My first response to this was 'i want to feel it in my veins!!!' and i like the heat in my back. I also want more to happen consciously. So much happens when i'm 'asleep' or in hindsight.
: : Take a break, if you feel you need to, but consider if the desire for distance comes of ego resistance.
: I've taken a break - from lots of things, not just this course. I've gotten really busy lately....will be glad when the holidays are over.
: Peace,
: carla
Blessings...