It feels good to peek in here and read the interesting posts...have missed the interaction here. I thought I might contribute some thoughts on this subject of control-as it caught my attention. For the past 4 months or so I have felt "cut-off" from the spiritual flow. No heart voice, no motivation to read or study-even this course, that I find amazing....just drifted off in a kind of fog. The feeling that this was all some K-cycle felt true to me. The hardest part of this all was that I did not feel like a soft loving human-I felt vulnerable and defensive....but-thankfully, a larger part of me knew this was a phase that would pass.
Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and literally felt an incoming energy flow into me-I felt breathless and excited and somehow alive again. I am not sure, but feel that my little lamp is lit. Asking myself what this 4 months accomplished, I can only come up with the fact that it loosened my grip or ideas about certain things. Those ideas gave me a sense of control. But maybe they also blocked me from new and creative forces.
I know I am guided. The less attached I am to my "ideas"-the more the auto-pilot switch stays on, and things flow with an ease that just feels right. For now, it's good to be back!
Shara