The Tea Room

Today in meditation, I felt a power surge, not unlike a hot flash, and you cameinto my mind.  You sort of snapped into consciousness and something in my said "Mystress"  I was very aware of your prsence and I realized that yesterday when I was having those same hot flashes, it was you.

In this dance of life, I am very sensitive to your vibration.  Your energy resonates with mine when I am in the place of silence.  I recognize your Buddha Nature.  When I am very grounded and viewing you on the video, you often turn into Budddha in my minds eye.

Because you have joined with my energy within my body, in our healing sessions, I feel very connected to you.  Jasper had that same effect upon me.  I often feel his presence when I am very deep in meditation.  Because his energy was there when I first knew my Divine Beloved was very male, Jasper is somehow connected to that.  Does this make sense?

I want to quote something from Lynn Andrews, Power Deck Cards of Wisdom.  This says so well what I feel about my relationship with you.

Quickening

"You can never really teach a warrior with words about the unknown; you must use experience.  But if you look into the eyes of a woman of power, you may catch up with her a little.  She has years of truth ahead of you.  Her eyes can quicken you like a river heading toward the rapids.  Open yourself with love, not with understanding.  You cannot love with your mind.  Listen from your heart.  If a camel is walking down a path and another camel passes him, the first camel will go faster to keep up.  This is how power works.  Don't learn everything with your mind.  Quicken your spirit by letting go of attachments and move to a stronger vibration of power."

You are my stronger vibration of power, and I am so grateful for having you in my life.

Love, c-light

QuoteToday in meditation, I felt a power surge, not unlike a hot flash, and you cameinto my mind.  You sort of snapped into consciousness and something in my said "Mystress"  I was very aware of your prsence and I realized that yesterday when I was having those same hot flashes, it was you.

Good. Now, surrender that.

QuoteIn this dance of life, I am very sensitive to your vibration.  Your energy resonates with mine when I am in the place of silence.  I recognize your Buddha Nature.  When I am very grounded and viewing you on the video, you often turn into Budddha in my minds eye.

Surrender it, then look in the mirror when you are in silence, and see the Buddha within yourself. What you see in me, is yourself reflected. Own it. It is you, yours.

QuoteBecause you have joined with my energy within my body, in our healing sessions, I feel very connected to you.  Jasper had that same effect upon me.  I often feel his presence when I am very deep in meditation.  Because his energy was there when I first knew my Divine Beloved was very male, Jasper is somehow connected to that.  Does this make sense?

Yes. Surrender it. Surrender the connection. Commune with your DB exclusively and remove the idea of Jasper as the facilitator. Let him go. His work is done, you do not need him to be the middleman any more.

C-light, part of why I have this desire to give up the healing work, is so that I can be soverign in my energy. Fill me with me and cease to open to allowing others to fill me with parts of themselves that they no longer want. Stop treating the vessel as a trash can. At this point I have not given it up, because I am not yet clear if there is something else I can do about it... but I am limiting myself to three sessions per week because it takes so long to get unentangled. A one hour session actually takes 3 days, a week or more.

  If the person I was working on does not want to give up the connection then it takes even longer. It is like having too many houseguests all the time. Sometimes I just want to throw them all out and slam the door so I can have peace and privacy in my own being. To not always be called here and there to be what other people need me to be for them. I am feeling that it is time I focused on who I need to be, for myself. Silent and soverign.

    Look at me, look at my energy body with your inner eye and see the cords going out in every direction as my energy flows to students and clients, supporting their process. Energy is abundant, giving is not a problem but the karma I get back in return, is noise in my silence. Other people's stuff in my being. Keeping clear is a full time job. most of the clearing happens autopilot, but there are always projections that others do not want to give up, and these do not get removed autopilot. Sometimes I have to consciously send them back.

   The course itself, is not like that... there is a spell on it, so that Goddess takes your projections directly and they do not touch me. Anything that comes up when you are reading the lessons or watching the vids, or when people do the Grounding, does not affect me. Goddess has it handled... outside of time. 

  In the one-on-one sessions you get under my skin, right inside me and the connection often remains, with your karma flowing to me for some time after. Your thoughts and emotions in my mind. It is like I have given a part of myself, my own inner space away to you... not just you, but my clients, in general.

  I have spoken a lot in this forum about giving power away to other people, usually in the form of blame... but there are other ways to give away power. Every action an equal and opposite reaction.

  I am not blaming you, it is my own choice to do the healing work, and to give power and energy to those I work with. It is my own responsibility to deal with what comes after. I am simply beginning to doubt the wisdom of doing the healing work...  wondering if there is some variation of the course spell I can put on myself without blocking or shielding.

   On a higher level I am all, but on the level of duality where karma exists, there is yours mine and ours. I am no longer so willing to be pulled back into the duality space of other people.

   I know one healer whom I admire, she spends a week to ten days every month to six weeks, doing nothing but meditating under a pyramid, clearing other folks stuff from herself. Debris left over from sessions... and she does not do any of the kind of flying around visiting people I still do. She had to stop, too much burnout. 

   The splinter liked to play at being Goddess for people, she was partly made of projections of what other people wanted me to be, so she needed the external validation like she needed air. She needed to be fed and sustained by the projections. I do not need it, I do not want to be Goddess for people. This is the hand me down suit that no longer fits too well. I am trying to discover if it can be tailored, or if it must be let go.

   You can understand that sometimes I think it would be better if I stopped. The course IS, and will remain. The lists Are, and will remain... but the healing work, of opening myself to others and allowing them to fill me is the part that is feeling the most inappropriate to who I am, now.

  I teach you to serve Goddess within yourself and have none before Her... yet, am I doing that when I allow other people's stuff to occupy the vessel? Hmmm... I am not sure. I am still sorting it out for myself... thinking out loud. 

  You do not need me to be Goddess for you. Surrender it, and if it is as Goddess Wills, then it will continue. If it is not, then Goddess within you will come to occupy the spaces I am filling, and that is what I want for you. I am the matchmaker to the sacred marriage, the Priestess who affirms the unity.. but you do not marry me!

   The whole point of these teachings is for you to learn to serve Goddess within yourself and have none before that... not me, not anybody. I can teach you, but I cannot be Goddess for you.

  I am not blaming you for how I feel, it is my own responsibility to learn to disconnect more completely from someone after a session, or else quit doing the sessions.

  I am just asking you to support me by surrendering your attachment to me. Let it go.  My spirit will still come to support your process if it is as Goddess Wills.

   I do not have the answers yet... I am still sorting this out for myself, and I am open to discussing it.

QuoteI want to quote something from Lynn Andrews, Power Deck Cards of Wisdom.  This says so well what I feel about my relationship with you.

Quickening

"You can never really teach a warrior with words about the unknown; you must use experience.  But if you look into the eyes of a woman of power, you may catch up with her a little."

Where my attention goes, my energy follows. shaktizap by eye lasers. A Shaman friend watched some of the vids when they were first created, and complained about the bright flashes of light giving her a headache. She asked if there was something wrong with the vids. I told her to watch them with a friend and she would discover that the friend was not seeing the flashes. The flashes are Shaktipat, and every lesson and video is soaking in it... the whole course is given up to Goddess and Goddess has it handled.

Quote"She has years of truth ahead of you.  Her eyes can quicken you like a river heading toward the rapids.  Open yourself with love, not with understanding.  You cannot love with your mind.  Listen from your heart."

Yes... all of these lessons, I ask you to listen with your heart and open to what is being said in the spaces between the words as well as the words. Let your heart fill in the blanks and expand your understanding with the experiences that the words themselves could never communicate.

Quote"If a camel is walking down a path and another camel passes him, the first camel will go faster to keep up.  This is how power works.  Don't learn everything with your mind.  Quicken your spirit by letting go of attachments and move to a stronger vibration of power."

You are my stronger vibration of power, and I am so grateful for having you in my life.

    No, no... you misunderstand this. (or perhaps I misunderstand you. ) One camel does not ride the other camel! Let go of attachments to me, and move into your own stronger vibration of power, not into me. I cannot be that for you. I can lift you up, in the short term with a boost of energy that inspires and clarifies with experience,  but you cannot depend on me for that in the long term. I open doors, but you must walk through them on your own legs.
    The part of you that reacted to my other post by freaking, is the part of you that thinks you need me. You need nothing. Thou art God. Own it, within yourself.

   Blessings...

QuoteLove, c-light

Hello Mystress,

Wow, this is absolutly amazing. And people never know how much you give to them in what you do. I always thought it was cool how instead of helping me directly, you told me how I can help myself. Of course this made me mad on some level because I just wanted you to wave your wand at me and I could just sit there and say how tingly I feel. But at the same time, I felt more powerful in the fact that.. Yea, I can do that. Now since I've pulled myself out of here, I feel more able to help myself, its a good feeling. Something that I think everyone should do. I did get scared yesterday though, Before I read your explanations of how things were, when I went to type in the password, I got this thought of...what if I could not get into FST anymore? And I just paused there... Heh Maybe the sites more of you than I thought... But It freaked me out. Then when I read how things where, I calmed down, and started to tell myself that I had better slowly move to becomming more dependant on myself. Learn as always. But not be entirely dependant on you to be there at all hours to save me.

What if you tell people that the things you do is a lot more serious than just waving a wand? And they had better do what you say, or you will turn them into a newt/frog/toad/ etc..  I know my local druming empath new age guy was telling me how he does all this drumming and totem energy work etc and the people just think its some sort of easy trick and go on there way and hes all drained after. People do not understand what happens. Can they? Can they even begin to understand? Can you tell them to set there intentions to disconnect from you when your done? Will they actually do it? ....Maybe your going to do something bigger and just need to get away from it all?

It was no easy task of bonding to Goddess instead of you. Here you are, you save my life, you give me back my soul, or you showed me how to do it. You are my hero. I mean what else does it take? But I knew that I could not do that. That I must move on. I must connect to whats inside. Other people don't see this. They see you, all powerful, all knowing, all caring, all healing.(all dancing?) They dont see you as an empowerer. As a connector to themselves. Maybe tell them that right up front. You are not doing anything they cannot do themselves. They are the real power. Make that connection right off, and get them to understand that before you even start. That way they can look inside first, for things. And maybe ask... "Now how can I do what she did again?" Turn it around. And not see you as Goddess. Message, and not the messenger and all of that...  

You could be really rude lol, they will like that they felt better, but wont connect to you because your such a "rude and uncaring person" and they can probably do all of this stuff without you anyways, since you told them that... I mean only with people that want to make sure there is no connection after. I mean, your always yelling at me about something hehe, or were, or will :) And I feel more independent because of it. Also more cut down :) But mainly its that I dont look to you as Goddess. Your much to mean to me :) So I find my own Goddess.

But, Im just a student here. Just typing what comes up....

Also, those courses also give me an energy headache. I'm stuck pretty early on. Waiting for the go ahead again. Or just calming down again. Have to see. I was pretty happy about the one on sex I think, you had on those blue sleeves... I was like "WOOO! STRIP TANTRA! WOOOO!"  ...but I was disapointed in the next video where you had your other clothes back on... sigh...   heh.. A new way to attract more members and keep them ...*cough*... "learning"? LOL, I'm an idiot I know....hahaha

Ok, later..

Sean

: C-light, part of why I have this desire to give up the healing work, is so that I can be soverign in my energy. Fill me with me and cease to open to allowing others to fill me with parts of themselves that they no longer want. Stop treating the vessel as a trash can. At this point I have not given it up, because I am not yet clear if there is something else I can do about it...

Hi Mystress,

Maybe now that the splinter has left - so has your appetitie for the karma munching that
was so *yummy* for awhile.  : )  Would you be able to replace the image of yourself as a
karma receptical with the image of a karma conduit - sending it to Goddess as you
receive it?  That way - whether the person wants to let go or not - it%rsquos not the *you* in
duality that has to process and ultimately give it back.  

Just a thought.

Peace,
carla

:  I am just asking you to support me by surrendering your attachment to me. Let it go.  My spirit will still come to support your process if it is as Goddess Wills.

     >I will surrender my attachment to you!

: : I want to quote something from Lynn Andrews, Power Deck Cards of Wisdom.  This says so well what I feel about my relationship with you.

: : Quickening

: : "You can never really teach a warrior with words about the unknown; you must use experience.  But if you look into the eyes of a woman of power, you may catch up with her a little.

: Where my attention goes, my energy follows. shaktizap by eye lasers. A Shaman friend watched some of the vids when they were first created, and complained about the bright flashes of light giving her a headache. She asked if there was something wrong with the vids. I told her to watch them with a friend and she would discover that the friend was not seeing the flashes. The flashes are Shaktipat, and every lesson and video is soaking in it... the whole course is given up to Goddess and Goddess has it handled.

 >I can see and feel the energy in the video.

: : She has years of truth ahead of you.  Her eyes can quicken you like a river heading toward the rapids.  Open yourself with love, not with understanding.  You cannot love with your mind.  Listen from your heart.

: Yes... all of these lessons, I ask you to listen with your heart and open to what is being said in the spaces between the words as well as the words. Let your heart fill in the blanks and expand your understanding with the experiences that the words themselves could never communicate.

: : If a camel is walking down a path and another camel passes him, the first camel will go faster to keep up.  This is how power works.  Don't learn everything with your mind.  Quicken your spirit by letting go of attachments and move to a stronger vibration of power."

: : You are my stronger vibration of power, and I am so grateful for having you in my life.

:   No, no... you misunderstand this. (or perhaps I misunderstand you. ) One camel does not ride the other camel! Let go of attachments to me, and move into your own stronger vibration of power, not into me. I cannot be that for you. I can lift you up, in the short term with a boost of energy that inspires and clarifies with experience,  but you cannot depend on me for that in the long term. I open doors, but you must walk through them on your own legs.
:    The part of you that reacted to my other post by freaking, is the part of you that thinks you need me. You need nothing. Thou art God. Own it, within yourself.

 >It was not my intent to ride on your back.
I thought that if the student were tuned into, aware of the teacher's higher vibration then somehow the student's vibration would become higher-much like the first camel speeds up to keep up- a Qickening- a catching up sort of effect.  I need to rethink this.

:   Blessings...

: : Love, c-light

:  Hello Mystress,

:
:  Wow, this is absolutly amazing. And people never know how much you give to them in what you do. I always thought it was cool how instead of helping me directly, you told me how I can help myself. Of course this made me mad on some level because I just wanted you to wave your wand at me and I could just sit there and say how tingly I feel. But at the same time, I felt more powerful in the fact that.. Yea, I can do that. Now since I've pulled myself out of here, I feel more able to help myself, its a good feeling. Something that I think everyone should do. I did get scared yesterday though, Before I read your explanations of how things were, when I went to type in the password, I got this thought of...what if I could not get into FST anymore? And I just paused there... Heh Maybe the sites more of you than I thought... But It freaked me out. Then when I read how things where, I calmed down, and started to tell myself that I had better slowly move to becomming more dependant on myself. Learn as always. But not be entirely dependant on you to be there at all hours to save me.

:
:  What if you tell people that the things you do is a lot more serious than just waving a wand? And they had better do what you say, or you will turn them into a newt/frog/toad/ etc..  I know my local druming empath new age guy was telling me how he does all this drumming and totem energy work etc and the people just think its some sort of easy trick and go on there way and hes all drained after. People do not understand what happens. Can they? Can they even begin to understand? Can you tell them to set there intentions to disconnect from you when your done? Will they actually do it? ....Maybe your going to do something bigger and just need to get away from it all?

:  It was no easy task of bonding to Goddess instead of you. Here you are, you save my life, you give me back my soul, or you showed me how to do it. You are my hero. I mean what else does it take? But I knew that I could not do that. That I must move on. I must connect to whats inside. Other people don't see this. They see you, all powerful, all knowing, all caring, all healing.(all dancing?) They dont see you as an empowerer. As a connector to themselves. Maybe tell them that right up front. You are not doing anything they cannot do themselves. They are the real power. Make that connection right off, and get them to understand that before you even start. That way they can look inside first, for things. And maybe ask... "Now how can I do what she did again?" Turn it around. And not see you as Goddess. Message, and not the messenger and all of that...  

 Thank you Sean for understanding and allowing me to see I am not alone here. I can certainly relate to what you are saying.  
                       c-light

:  Ok, later..

:  Sean