The Tea Room

Hi all,

I would like to ask about strengthening the connection I have to my own interior divine beloved - and letting go of fear. I have been going through the de repression moment in regards to my sexuality, which has been terrifying. I wanted to ask for assistance directly because my DB is not happy with how much of myself I've given away to an ex - I had never been "in love" and now it feels like I am being manipulated into being with someone I don't want to be with anymore. I keep being with and around people... Esp intuitive people who I feel a bit violated by. In fact I was with a friend who said something that gave me chills... " I know what you like." Maybe it's a fear of intimacy, but I feel increasingly bothered and forced to say NO. You don't, my DB does. This is all probably moving me in the direction of getting to know myself and not another.

I see my mate sometimes but have a terrible time surrendering to him. He keeps forcing me thru my experiences to surrender. I want to be a vessel for him, this strong, inner man, and I think he finds it funny how I am resisting. He is lusty, powerful, and has me in a corner to surrender. I've been manhandled by goddess. I give up. I give the reigns to my own inner masculinity. It's been so interesting because I find I am not attracted to the same kind of people any more. I want my own marriage to my own inner divinity to primary.

I was wondering if anyone had a name for their DB?  I refer to mine as "Amor". 

I have used a huge delicious gratitude to defuse the whole thing that nourishes my being. Thank you for this space to share.

Mystress I sent a request for an appointment via the website form and couldn't get through (error) and also via email but got it returned. Are you overbooked?

Thank you,
Kate

My DB took the form of Archangel Michael in the early days, but after a time it shed that form, and all forms, and sought to be called simply "Beloved."
  In Shamans, the Guide tends to overshadow the DB.

  You can ask your DB what it wants to be called.

  Do not forget to send it into the light, every so often.  It takes some of your karma with it, each time... opportunistic, like that, for your benefit.

  Genuine DB tends to be quite devoid of negative emotions, even though it reflects you. A DB that is acting impatient, or angry... is probably an impostor.  Send it into the light.

  I think the best way to become closer to the DB is to become very mindful of your thoughts, start noticing the inner conversations you are already having with it, and start to talk to it more consciously, about everything. Whatever is on your mind, whatever you are doing, even if you get no response.

  Usually there is a response, but not always in words, it responds in feelings, memories, energy sensations, kriyas, breath changes, visions or insights too.

  Give credit to the DB, when your mind does something clever, like getting a good idea, an inspiration, a craving for healthier food, or remembering something.  "Thank you, Beloved." :)  Giving the DB responsibility via gratitude, for elements of your life is an excellent form of subtle surrender.

  Regarding sessions: nothing on my plate at all, atm.
  I ask students to pay first, then I respond to the paypal notice of payment, to schedule the session with them. Lately I schedule sessions via tearoom pm, for completion via skype or secondlife. 

  Thanks for letting me know some things are not working, it can depend on what viewer you use.  What browser were you using?

  Last summer my host moved all my sites to a new server and made an unholy mess of them, especially the email accounts.  I am still finding things that got broken. I have quite limited patience for dealing with that sort of thing, ADD brains.  My web empire outgrew what one person can maintain, sometime around 2002. I cannot keep up with it all, and depend on good volunteers and occasionally hiring freelancers.   


 

 
Thank you for your response! I had so many positive things occur in the past few days which led me right back to your post; a series of positive desires, including eating healthier, as well as a pretty hefty series of remembering past memories which I’d thought I’d long left behind. Lots of creative ideas about how to move forward with my life as well.

I saw my inner Divine Beloved, Blonde version of myself but male - I have alot of auditory phenomenon and synchronicity but the visual phenomenon I’ve yet to delve into, and am not sure if it’s a question about surrender. Touch from my DB, and a near ravishment...! It was Sunday and I felt I finally connected through my personal karma/ shadow there was this blast of absolute unconditional Love and just tears running down my face. It was amazing.

I’m getting alot of “tongue clicks” from an imposter...and alot of “sighing”, other forms of frustration. I have a feeling I picked up some ‘emotional energy suckage” from somewhere, because there’s been alot of big events in my life like a car being broken into that raised the emotional shackles (I didn’t panic, just tired.) It’s an eventful time in my life, ripe for surrender to Goddess. I ask my DB to take care of it. In my view the more attention I give to my DB and more faith the more I weaken the veils between us and the more he can act on my behalf.

I also hear a child crying, I am not sure if this is my real DB bringing along my child self or a method of an energy grabber.  I keep blasting it into the light, asking my DB to kick some butt. I can tell the difference between real DB because of the connection - it has a specific “feeling” where I just know. But the imposters are annoying as heck.

I’m also aware of the fact I picked up some stray crap from somewhere that’s been bothering me.It’s pretty stubborn. I moved onto the trilite entity clearing, but still getting the fuzzy head and also stray thoughts that distract me from grounding. To be honest it feels as if my subconscious has been violated (have you heard of this?) making it harder to surrender to the ways of the DB, specifically. I'm curious about how

I've been keeping calm and trusting Goddess to sort it out after I take the steps myself to do the clearing, I think I had a really nasty spirit that keeps bothering me - everytime I move into "my cup runneth over" stray thoughts and doubt manifest. Seems a bit like an addiction entity, especially active in relation to old habits I had to shift out of. This included smoking cigarettes (*love tobacco*) etc. I have a feeling there's a few entities friends and I share. Really get a huge laugh every time I read the "panties in a twist" line, helps me bring levity and my own power to my mind.

Thank you for the advice around talking internally to DB, I love this idea as it is so much like talking to a friend.

I’ll be paying/ PM-ing you within the next week or so, thank you for redirection. That’s really unfortunate about the website. Any symptoms of ADD I had before Kundalini have become magnificently magnified as of late, much to my chagrin. It’s been an opportunity, as these things go. I was on medication and stopped.

I’m using Firefox, version 28.0.

Namaste
Kate