[4:17:55 AM] Duu: My ego is giving me a hard time. Would you have mood to talk about that?
[4:18:00 AM] Mystress: ok
[4:18:42 AM] Mystress: but first merge empathically with your chair
[4:18:50 AM] Duu: ok
[4:19:37 AM] Duu: done.
[4:19:43 AM] Duu: feeling better.
[4:20:26 AM] Mystress: where is your ego when you are a chair
[4:20:44 AM] Duu: there is no ego.
[4:21:44 AM] Mystress: add to checklist :)
[4:23:36 AM] Duu: but i feel tensions in my body when I return.
[4:23:56 AM] Mystress: surrender them
[4:27:01 AM] Duu: yes done
[4:28:16 AM] Mystress: when you returned they were transformed into simple physical sensations, easy to surrender
[4:28:54 AM] Duu: yes they were more detached
[4:30:01 AM] Mystress: easy eh? you fixed yourself up in a few minutes
[4:30:18 AM] Duu: yes
[4:30:34 AM] Mystress: you are so good
[4:30:44 AM] Duu: ehm
[4:31:14 AM] Duu: yes.
[4:31:21 AM] Mystress: :)
[4:31:36 AM] Duu: and thank you. Namaste.
[4:32:00 AM] Mystress: chuckles
[4:32:09 AM] Duu: :)
[4:32:40 AM] Duu: chuckling as well
[4:36:04 AM] Mystress: I want to post that to tearoom
[4:37:07 AM] Duu: ok.
Hi,
I would like to add some insights.
I had already awareness of ego problem, that was good thing, but was no able to clear it.
And the cause was that I was enmeshed in it. Lost perspective, distance from it.
I tried to solve the problem, emotions, stress etc. but I was solving basically the effects and not the cause. And by “solving†them I actually energized them, until I got lost.
Some say ah you have to focus the cause and not the effect. But even focusing on the cause of the problem would not help. Strangely as all that would focus my attention in ways were I could just have a chance to get further lost. In my then unbalanced state of mind that path would surely happen, almost inevitability. Because all the energies and emotions when active have certain momentum of direction.
So becoming a chair is one of the method to detach from emotion. To a state where they can be seen as just that, a surface play and release them. In deeper understanding now I see that one arrives at a place where ones sees both the cause and effect as not important.
Not important to focus on them or resolve them. Since they are not the essence of life nor of you.
So In my case the need to resolve them or to understand them was just an ego factor that prevented the true release.
The understanding or resolution would still be desired. Only they both stooped to be forced out. Struggling, meaning as unpleasant fight against opposition is not a fruitful spiritual way. Maybe I had to experience this situations as this conclusion is contrary to what we are taught by civilization, from schools, parents and that is struggle is good. Or holly or pure etc.
So if understanding comes then fine. If not its fine too. If it gets resolved its fine. If not its fine too.
But by universal law it will get resolved, it must.
After that yes a deep understanding came and a release came..
I very much thank Mystress for her support. Her wisdom and her patience is really vast, almost inhuman. I realized more how blessed one is to have a wise teacher that can be asked and had a session with when things become tough. And mostly it was cut trough in minutes what as gordic knot I was trying to untie for long time in repeating attempts for what was likely many years.
Greetings,
Duu