Hello all,
Just thought I'd share some things that have been changing with me...
Been thinking about everything and all the new info I got from Mystress. About all these things inside me.
You know when I thought about my anger comming from this unreleased stuff thats been in me for so long, and it going and poking people and mixing things up worse... I just started telling myself not to hate any more. Just repeating it over and over. Dont hate anyone anymore, for whatever reason. Dont hate..
You know my thoughts started changing almost imedietly... And after a while of things moving inside I got a new feeling.. Like things spinning down. I got this image of these huge electric generators. Filling up a factory floor for as far as I could see. And there were levels on top of levels of these things. All cranking out at past full output, sparking red and making a tremendious whirring noise that was filling up the place... I felt them start to wind down.. One by one.. spinning down and finnaly stopping. Right down to the last one that I was standing in front of.
It was so quiet....
There was no noise of anything. Just banks and banks of massive generators no longer running.
So Quiet.
For a long time I would walk past them just looking. Climbing up them. With a rose in my hand. I would put roses on some of them.
I just felt so empty. No more noise. No more burning. No matter what, I'd still see them there. So quiet. So empty.
My thoughts really started to change. I've been in bed a lot just sleeping. New things comming up. Feeling empty. Sometimes one or two generators would power up again, but I'd keep them on low settings and not let any more go. I see how they are powered though. I have a lot of work to do on this in me...
Then I went to the library and got some books on loss and things. Found a book on toxic parents. Read a bit. Things really hit me. Things I need to do... More thoughts changing in me. I can feel them moving.
I'm very sad and empty now though.. I stop out at a nice field at night. I start doing my healing version of the Middle Pillar. I clear out my body's. I start to clean out my chakra's. But now I see them as flowers of different types and colors. I feel more aware of things. Moving up, cleaning, seeing a new flower, breathing in from it. When I get to my throat things usualy happen. I saw a doll, broken and missused. It started to knaw at my ankle. Pretty scarry stuff.. But I knew what it was. I talked to it. Let it go. Later I realised that it was the ankle that has been bothering me lately... Then moved up and up. I could not beleive what kind of connection I had flowing through me. It felt realy nice. Never felt like this before.. Top, higher, higher, higher... Then I thought I saw/felt a girl doing the same things as I was. Heh, it could have been me.. It was pretty cool. Breathing up higher... up to out there and opened up. Cool. Im all open.. I open my eyes and just feel it all. Wow.. Now bring it all into me again and letting it flow both ways.
I just stood there for a long time. Just feeling this new feeling. This is incredible. Then after a while I drop to my heart and asked..
"Am I loved? Do you care about me?"
Felt things move around and then I felt my pink energies flow through me again. Sooo nice. And I just felt so much better. Just stood there smiling for a while and feeling good hugging myself. Wow...
So now I'm typeing and waving my hands around with my feelers flowing out of them. Its so nice to have it again. Its my happy sauce. :)
Very Nice. Yum.
Thanks..
Sean
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: Just thought I'd share some things that have been changing with me...
: Very Nice. Yum.
: Thanks..
THANK YOU FOR SHARING ALL THIS SEAN. IT SOUNDS WONDERFUL. I APPRECIATE ALL THE SUPPORT YOU HAVE GIVEN ME. Love from Light.
(I am still trying to learn how to maneuver in this site.)
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