Ahhh
First off, my libido is.... well FST is, firing me up. :)
Intense horniness and the wish to begin to bring the heart into the picture is an interesting combination :D
Oh my, here we go....
A few days ago, I felt called to have sex with... my sex doll.
I haven't played with her in a long time, except to cuddle with her.
Anyhoo....
Once the games commenced, I had the idea to think of her as my Divine Beloved... and actually talked to her as if, opened my heart a little, played with the doll from a more sweet place.
Throughout, I offered my pleasure to my D.B.
I had my most intense solo(by myself) full on non-ejaculatory orgasm... almost a minute long (yeah I know ladies, and for a guy, wow) and lost count of my mini non-ejac gasms.
I wasn't planning on ejaculating, and then I heard a feminine voice in my mind say "Give it to me."
I was skeptical.... and then decided to go with it, and when I finally ejaculated, I offered it to my DB.
Afterwords, as is usual for me, I just hung out in the post-bliss... and then when I went out to do some errands, I thought of my DB and LOVE coursed through me.
It felt like it was coming from all around me!!!!
:)
Yum
I also am noticing that the intense physical pleasure of sex is less of a big deal.
The mini-non ejac orgasms were intensely pleasurable, and there was a part of me that was watching them and thinking. this is no big deal. The post orgasmic bliss added to the love I felt this time makes those mini just physical explosions.... feel a little "shallow." No judgement, they just didn't, :) well fully hit the spot.
I am noticing that there is a wish to have that love and that bliss while being sexual, not just afterwords.
And, what is happened feels like a quantum leap.
It's a beginning
Blessings,
S, E.E.
p.s I realize this is a Goddess centered course and community and due to my 12 Step program work, I just use the words God or Higher Power, no offense meant.
p.s.s. I understand if
All acts of Love and pleasure serve Her.