My head seems to be off with the fairies again, to put it simply. :D
I find that I used to escape a lot during teenage years, and I guess to an extent during childhood years.
I'd create my own world in my head and could spend hours there, ignoring the outside world completely. My inner-mental world was all-consuming. I did this during teenage years with the Internet. I spent hours after school (up until 3am) on the net.
I guess I am doing it again now too, but in everyday situations. Today, I was at lunch with a co-worker and she was talking away.. I could see her speak, but couldn't catch a word she said (didn't hear it). It took some effort to focus in and make sense of the conversation. I don't feel like I disengage from my body and go off somewhere else, but something does switch off. I can still observe the environment around me with some effort. And yes, have tried grounding when this happens. :)
Escapism. But why am I doing it? Did that part of me that escaped years ago come back?
Do any of you do this, or have done this?
Ah, forgot to mention my words slur/garble when I am this state. And things seem a bit slower and more foggy.
Quote from: Blossom on Jul 30, 2009, 09:47:04 PM
Ah, forgot to mention my words slur/garble when I am this state. And things seem a bit slower and more foggy.
Happens to me all the time, if my creative focus is elsewhere. Not the speech thing though, I don't think. (I asked the fella, seems even when I talk in my sleep it is clear.) I think that is because its new for you and you are trying to come all the way back and focus with your old mind. My fella learned to look for signs of my being present before any important conversations because if I was busy writing we might have a conversation and agree to things I'd remember nothing about. The benefit though is how well my body works on autopilot at the same time. Not only can it carry on a conversation without me, my body might get up from my desk, wander off and cook dinner perfectly without really disturbing my creative thought train.
I had a friend help me move... I kept being amazed at her doing things I needed but did not remember asking for. She was staying with me, at the time. Months later I asked her about it, and she reported going into my room to see if I was asleep. I'd sat up in bed, told her to get a pen and paper and dictated to her an amazingly comprehensive list of everything that needed to be done in that next three days including details of how individual objects had to be packed, what was going into storage and that a ritual cleanse requires sweeping the floors counter-clockwise. The completeness and detail of the things to do list astonished her, I was being unusually laser and covered everything in the house and answered all of her questions, then went back to sleep. Didn't remember a thing about it. Many years later I encountered something that never got unpacked, and wondering about why it had been packed away wrapped in old plastic shopping bags, Goddess responded with a snippet of memory of telling my friend to do that, as she sat on my bed with a notepad.
Sometimes my body just does stuff better with my mind out of the way.
Most people live in thier heads, and mistake the world for thier idea of the world.
Hi Bossom,
Took some time to mull over what to say in reply to your post.
For many a year I've been in the same state, now and then. Sort of drop in a big hole inside me. As a child I used to love playing in big cardboard boxes.
I can sometime watch a film and can't make sense of it all, I end up just looking at the moving pictures and lose the plot... as though I can't understand my own language. I have had the slur speech thing too, like I'm drunk.
The act of surrendering has helped alot with all this, I put it all down to escapism, fear of the present moment. I have found opening up more has reduced this problem completely.
I also found that a balance of mindfulness within awareness is essential. For a while after reading spiritual books on this subject, I was too much in awareness and went abit brain dead for awhile. How the Mystress puts it helped me understand more... that the conscious is the lens of perception. I tried too hard to kill the ego and surpress it and the result was lack of conscious, mindfulness. This is how I see it...
That makes sense, thanks for sharing. :)
I have just been taking it easy the last week. I went to see the structural massage therapist again, end of week. My physical body seem to be in working order, a bit of puffiness around the thyroid on the emotional side. Most of the stuff released or poked that session was mental/emotional. There is something in my gut that I am unwilling to let go of and it causes a lot of anger. I've noticed more anger surface the last week, but it's fine. Just allowing it to unfold.
I also went to yoga the day before yesterday and noticed that my foundations (legs) were quite shakey. So, taking it easy.
Hi,
I was wondering if anyone knew anything about the temporal lobe/section of the skull. It's the triangle shaped bone just behind the ears. When I am still, this is the place I feel tension (a headache). I was reading up on how it relates to Ida and Pingala and also Kundalini.
I did something.. I don't recall what.. but the left-side feels free and I feel energy moving now, but the right side seems blocked still. :P
Quote from: Blossom on Aug 16, 2009, 11:01:27 PM
Hi,
I was wondering if anyone knew anything about the temporal lobe/section of the skull. It's the triangle shaped bone just behind the ears. When I am still, this is the place I feel tension (a headache). I was reading up on how it relates to Ida and Pingala and also Kundalini.
I did something.. I don't recall what.. but the left-side feels free and I feel energy moving now, but the right side seems blocked still. :P
Namaste
If you describe the symptoms of Kundalini to most doctors and ask for a diagnosis you'll probably be tested for temporal lobe epilepsy. Trust me, I've been down that road lol. There's a lot of mental function tied to sensory perception and spiritual experience tied up in the temporal lobe.
The important thing of course if you have recurring pain in the head is to rule out "medical" causes to be sure it isn't a danger to your health.
In terms of the kundalini process one should be careful not to dwell on kriyas and bodily manifestations. Goddess works through us in perfect wisdom. We do not need to understand the nature of kriyas and manifestations as that focus is grounded in ego. We need to allow them to pass and surrender them. As you progress you move beyond the kriyas and siddhis and manifestations and that makes way for realization.
Om Shanti
Oh, yes I agree that talking to doctors doesn't really amount to much.
The reason why I looked into it was because no matter how many time I tried to be with what was going on, own it and surrender it.. ground..it kept on persisting. So, I took that to mean that I needed to unravel it a bit more or there was purpose for it.
I think I should have said temporal bone, rather than lobe. What I feel isn't in the brain, it's the skull. I've tried taking panadol (pain-killer) to no effect. Also, as I said it only arises when I am present or still. :)