From Mystress at fire-serpent.com Thu Jun 18 20:13:45 2009 From: Mystress at fire-serpent.com (Mystress Angelique Serpent) Date: Thu, 18 Jun 2009 20:13:45 -0700 Subject: [FST members] I am healthy and strong! Message-ID: <1245383632_12492@mx.dccnet.com> It has come to my attention lately (in the past few months from various sources) that somebody is spreading rumours that I am severely ill or on my deathbed or something. I really wish somebody would check the source before spreading rumours of my impending demise. Its not true, I am still the healthiest person I know, physically, emotionally and mentally despite an interesting collection of vices and a pretty sedentary net-geek hermit lifestyle. I am doing great! Even my seasonal allergies are not bothering me this summer. I have not had a cold or flu in over a decade, I'm even relatively invulnerable to food poisoning. Allergies are my weakness, and they are pretty common for someone sensitive enough to diagnose your karma to 9 decimal points from the other side of the planet. Sensitives are sensitive. The last time I can remember being really sick was about 4 years ago, solvent poisoning from mishandling the natural essential oils I used as fragrance for my soap making. Looked like flu but wasn't, just my body erupting from every orifice and drowning me in amrita nectar for a couple of weeks until the toxins were cleared. My heath is amazingly resilient because of Mighty Shakti! There is one thing going on with me, and it is not a new thing at all, just a new discovery. Two years ago an MRI to find out why I went deaf in my left ear four years ago, revealed an extremely slow growing, benign tumour in my head. Its been there all my life, I just didn't know. I've had time to adapt to the hearing loss. I miss having perfect pitch, my singing voice isn't what it used to be. I cannot hear music in stereo. Not being able to locate the cordless phone by sound when it rings if I left it off the charger can be annoying but .... really, pffft... who cares? People deal with so much worse. Its not even an illness, it is a minor genetic defect probably caused by the fact of my mother being 39 years old when I was conceived. Goes along with the nearsightedness. You are not supposed to have kids at that age because old genes just don't replicate without errors but she is catholic and I'm here enjoying life so I am not complaining. Its called an acoustic neuroma and is the most common cause of single sided deafness, though still a very rare condition. A tiny genetic quirk, the sheath on the balance nerve on the left side doesn't know when to stop growing, it has taken 45 years to grow to 22mm, big enough to kill the hearing nerve which is what prompted the Doc to do an MRI and find it. It killed the balance nerve on that side in childhood and I'm really glad to finally know why I never get sea legs (or seasickness!) when going sailing, cannot skateboard and why it took me a year to learn to ride a bicycle as a kid... I've only got half a gyroscope. It is nothing new, I have always had it, the only difference is now I know about it. Eventually there will be surgery to remove it. No rush for that. I'm waiting in line behind all the people who actually have serious problems and happy to let them go first. It would take years for it to grow big enough to do any more damage and a few decades to become life threatening. I have had a lifetime to adapt to the balance disability without ever needing to know the cause. I started doing yoga spontaneously as a child, out of instinct. I knew something was out of whack with my balance and challenged it with various types of balance games to get better. I have amazing balance so long as I am on a stable surface. Better than average, I can stand on one foot for half an hour, and used to walk around in 5" stiletto heels. All the usual symptoms of nausea and vertigo associated with inner ear disorders, were over before my age reached double digits. In fact, I am pleased the tumor was not discovered sooner because modern surgery methods are so much improved! It has been quite fascinating to me, to explore how I have adapted to this minor disability instinctively, now that I know the cause. The biggest surprise was how much of the adaptation was visual! I always thought I had a situational fear of heights, they only bother me if I can see the ground far below, between my feet, like on a fire escape grill. Kind of cool to discover its not a phobia, its a side effect of instinctive visual adaptation to compensate for a balance disorder. Wow~! Part of my purpose in posting this, besides putting rumours to rest, is to declare a limit: I DO NOT WANT prayers, healing energy sent, spiritual genetic manipulation or anything like that. Leave it alone, Goddess has it handled. Goddess has provided an excellent, very experienced surgeon and Canadian health care means it wont cost me a thing except time. Yay! It is a little ironic that all the various types of intuitive healers I have known in my life, not one of them ever said "hey did you know you have this thing growing in your head...?" but western medicine actually showed me a picture of it! Amazing! So Science gets my vote as to who will deal. Spiritual Healers keep hands off!! To be fair to the intuitives, there was nothing to see because there is nothing wrong with me. The genes are doing what they are programmed to do, except there is a typo in the code. Always has been, all the way back to when I was only an egg. I'm not interested in trying to fix it.. genes are complicated, one codon does a lot of different jobs, for example being able to roll your tongue into an O is connected to being able to taste the quinine in tonic water, and who knows what all else? The genetic typo could be connected to my very unusual inborn Shaman abilities, in which case I totally agree with the soul decision to have things as they are. I have only one regret: this type of hearing loss should have been very gradual, instead it was relatively sudden, and came about after my sending out a call for healing because of getting water behind my eardrum after doing neti-neti (salt water sinus rinse) in a jacuzzi tub. So instead of a minor condition that would have dried up on its own in six weeks, I got annoyed and yelled for help... and it looks like the healing that was sent actually caused a growth spurt in the tumour leading to permanent hearing disability. That does kinda suck... I mentioned this to my doc and he has encountered it before: people who try a natural macrobiotic acupuncture etc healing method for genetic tumours get worse, their tumours grow big fast. So please keep your prayers for yourself, thanks! I don't need them, I don't want them. I have robust health and a beautiful life that is the envy of many. The surgery to remove the growth is pretty major, but extremely safe, very low risk. I have no fear, the only inconvenience is that some aspects of my life have been on hold as I wait to find out *when.* I may only get a week's notice. I have turned down dozens of invitations to travel and teach Kundalini workshops all over the world in the past few years, because planning such an event takes months and having to cauncel it for surgery would be stupid. No big. Its not like I don't have plenty of other projects to occupy my time, with an enormous web empire, lists, students, forums, my lineage in training, and now Kundalini Mystic Isle, my sim in secondlife.com where I play with creating Kundalini temples, meditations and a shakti charged virtual world environment. Come visit! Its beautiful, we can sit by the campfire on the beach and watch the sun set over the endless sea. In secondlife I am named Mystress Weatherwax. If you meet me there I might be human, or a crow, a fuzzy purple ball of light, or a toaster that day... all part of ongoing experiments on the psychological effects of identification with the avatar form. It started with noticing that my real feet would get tired if my pixel puppet avie stood for a long time, and strangers commenting on my avatar's energy... I was astonished to discover my virtual reality pixel puppet self has a shakti field! It sorta grew from there. I took a camera with me to the neurosurgeon and took pics of the MRI results on the monitor because I find it fascinating. How many people get to contemplate the wrinkles of their own brain in black&white? Cool!! Wanna see? I posted one of the pics on facebook, sort of a cathartic art expression. The caption says "this is my tumour, isn't it pretty? I grew it myself." Kind of a clue that its interesting but not serious. That photo could be the source of rumours except the associated thread explains how minor it is... and you would think somebody would get all the facts straight before going all chicken little about my health? Makes me wonder about motive for these rumours... The people who really care about me, heard the rumour and contacted me right away to find out how I am. I am fine!! Others just spread the rumour, like it gives them some kind of secret glee or validation to hear lies of my misfortune. WTF?? Yes, I am beautiful, talented, witty, charismatic, insightful, robustly healthy and a genius... and modest LMAO!! So, deal! like the famous quote from "a course in miracles:" We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?" "Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." yeah, and the quote doesn't mention that the insecure people will not be inspired, they will hate you for your brilliance with a green eyed monster of envy carrying pitchforks, tell stories about your defects to comfort themselves and take secret satisfaction from false rumours of misfortune. The Japanese say "The nail that sticks up, gets hammered down." Hmm.. Less inspiring but more realistic of human nature. I don't understand envy, or jealousy. If I am scratching my head wondering about someone's odd hostile behavior it usually takes someone else to tell me "they are jealous of you duh!!" I don't expect it, understand it or look for it because I am just me, ya know? Everyone is beautiful, Divine manifestations of love. I spent four days last week, sailing in the Gulf Islands on my husband's 28' boat, eating crab fresh caught from the sea and savouring the incredible beauty of the BC coast. Last night a friend came by and spent hours giving me a full body massage, for free. I'm looking out my home office window as I write this, view of rainforest, giant cedar trees and the North shore mountains, a tiny peek of the mighty fraser river between my neighbor's trees, only 1/2 mile away and blowing chi up the hill. When I talk like this, counting my blessings people think I'm boasting. I am not. The medium is the message; surrender to Goddess within, and She will make your life more beautiful than anything you could imagine or create for yourself. Please forward this post, unedited wherever you may encounter these rumours that I am suffering some kind of terrible sickness. I'd really like to put them to rest. Thank you! Blessings... ................................................. http://kundalini-teacher.com http://fire-serpent.com http://www.kundalini-gateway.org -------------------------------------------------